Judge a opener please

[zhelyazko]

Hi guys,

Following a much appreciated discussion with Lee I have come to the decision to narrow down the openers I use as much as possible (mainly Deep Thoughts). However the Deep Thoughts would not work on girls who are walking. For that situation I intend to use the following. Please have a look when you get the time and advise how it comes across.

Hey. You are fucking adorable! But! Hold your proverbial horses.
I’m not sold yet. All it means is I see an opportunity to meet someone I might like, but I want to get to know you some before making that decision.
What I’ll do is I’ll make a list of all your good qualities on one side and all your annoying habits on the other and then balance it out.
And you should do the same.
So what do you do for fun girl? Do you sing, do you dance, do you write?

It borrows heavily from Lee and Eric’s stuff so I hope it is ok?

Kind Regards,
Zhelyazko

[dyonisos]

This is not an opener. This is monologue. The street situation is dynamic and this is not a podium. You should find a short line that will stop her. I am still figuring out the best way to approach moving girls other than direct. What gave me success in the past was direction opener with instant transition.

me: sorry, do you know where is x street?
her: bla bla
me: btw , i like your style.

This is low key complement which usually works better than high investemnt complements like” you are gorgeous” etc.

What its important at this point is to quickly engage her in conversation. Best way is to throw an assumption. Dont wait for her reaction too long becasue ( unless she is much into to your looks right away) she will use this as opportunity to say thanks and walk away. What i do is when they say thanks i say some assumption like” i hear an accent. you dont sound like you are from here”
Doesnt matter what she sounds like. It will create an opportunity to keep conversation going.

That being said, like Ryano says, your tone of voice, facial expression and vibe is crucial here.

[SomeguyUK]

@zheylasko

I think your opener as waaaaay too long and it’s way too obvious that you are trying to play the ‘I’m the selecter’ card.

If you’re gonna go direct, go direct. Have you tried just telling her she’s cute and having a normal conversation from there?

[MrAntiquity]

gotta let her respond, man 🙂 As the other guys said.

[The_Hurricane]

Yes, I love the homage, but it’s way too much. Your opener should be brief, something that gets her to listen to you. In general, your approach should be interactive. You should be asking her to tell you things that are of value to you. What you say should invite her to follow you into conversation. Look at the difference between these two:

1) Version 1: “When you were growing up, how close were you with your parents?”

2) Version 2: “When I was 11, my mom was an artist and my dad was a doctor. Every Saturday, my dad would drive my mom and me to the Metropolitan Museum of Art so I could take sketching lessons. And every Sunday, my dad would take me to a chess club at a local community center. What about you, when you were growing up, how close were you with your parents?”

The second one follows the lead-then-ask-her-to-follow model. Big difference, right? She’ll answer the second one with some detail, but you’re lucky if you get a one word answer to the first.

Lead, then ask her to follow. That’s what your interaction should be like as well.

–Lee

[ryano]

“Hey. You are fucking adorable! But! Hold your proverbial horses.
I’m not sold yet. All it means is I see an opportunity to meet someone I might like, but I want to get to know you some before making that decision.
What I’ll do is I’ll make a list of all your good qualities on one side and all your annoying habits on the other and then balance it out.
And you should do the same.
So what do you do for fun girl? Do you sing, do you dance, do you write?”

This is quite frankly the weirdest fucking thing I’ve ever read in my life. It’s so try-hard and scripty it’s just so out of whack with reality. It’s not even human. And it’s funny that guys actually buy into the bullshit like this.

First of all, don’t say “You are FUCKING adorable”. What is that? I think one of Eric Disco’s friends said that in an interview once. sounded so weird to me. BradP I believe it was?

And this: “So what do you do for fun girl? Do you sing, do you dance, do you write?” sounds like something Lee would say.

Now this might work for those guys. But pickup should be different for everybody. I’ll say this once and I’ll say this again:

USE YOUR OWN LINES.

I want to vomit when people rehash scripts. I truly do. I’ll make a post about opening.

[zhelyazko]

Okay I got the point 😀 Very valuable criticism. Thank you. I will take it on board.

The reason why I wanted to try something different is because if I go direct “hi I think you are cute…” lots of times the girl just excuses herself, but as you guys have noted the opener is way too long, I have to let her respond.

Lead then ask her to follow. Okay. Got it.

Tone, facial expression and vibe I do what I can. Sometimes I get it, sometimes I don’t.

Very appreciated that you all took the effort to respond so quickly.

Kind Regards,
Zhelyazko

p.s. come on get my name right !!!

[ryano]

p.s sorry I didn’t mean to come across as mean, but I was just riled up when I read that opener. No offense taken i hope!

[SomeguyUK]

@Zhel

I am by no means an authority on this subject, but I think if most of the girls are leaving straight away, you gotta work on your appearance and your delivery. I’m still a beginner but I find on days where I am feeling good and delivering the opener with balls, at least half the girls stick around to chat.

Try saying your opener real slow with some pauses (if you are not already). I say something like “hey, I was just walking by over there and I have to say [pause] you look (pause) REALLY cute today”. Works pretty well.

[zhelyazko]

Damn that delivery. I know I have to get it right, but even after more than 300 approaches I still get all nervous quite often.

I will feed back to you when I’m able to apply your advice (let’s say 300 more approaches :D)

Regards,
Zhelyazko

[SomeguyUK]

@zhel

Do what Eric says in the book about warmups. Give a compliment, walk away. Tell a girl she’s looking really cute today, walk away. Then do it again but this time stay. Think of it as an experiment and don’t worry about picking her up; you will relax more.

[The_Hurricane]

“You look fucking delicious!” is a great opener. I’ve seen Glenn do it and I’ve tried it myself. Girls laugh and stop to chat. It gets their attention. One time, I was walking with Eric in Soho and two women were walking towards me. I planted and said “Sister, you look fucking delicious!” and she said “Thanks! You look fucking delicious too!” Never happened to me before.

Openers shouldn’t be long. They should get her attention and tell her the reason you’re opening her. “You look like you’re thinking deep, deep thoughts.” It’s short. I wait for her response. I don’t steamroll her.

I don’t have to think of a million different things to say, things that have to do with what she’s wearing, what bag she has in her hands, where we are, what she looks like. I say the same thing each and every time. It’s simple and it’s super, super comfortable. Like Bruce Lee said, “I’m not afraid of the man who has practiced ten thousand moves. I’m afraid of the man who has practiced one move ten thousand times.”

–Lee

[zhelyazko]

@The_Hurricane Lee, you have a great point. Martial arts is a perfect comparison. In order to get good at it you need to practice the same thing over and over and over again. So why not make my life easier in pick up and open girls with the same two/ three openers each time?

[Tedted]

Looks, apparent status are a prerequisite.
Good Vibe is an optional add-on.
After this, a soft neg can be an opener that will arouse her curiosity and interest.
I really fancy mystery’s negs like “I can’t stand you anymore…”

[Author]

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