How to proceed

[Jeff_1]

Hello, I have been reading the forum and found some great advice, keep it up!

Would be great to hear opinion on how to proceed with this girl.

She added me as friend on one social network and after a few exchange of likes (couple of days, week max) she messaged me, told me she is at party and a little drunk. Exchanged few sentences and her iniciative to go on coffee sometime, told her i was busy the next few days but i will get in touch with her.

After a couple of days I messaged her we agreed to go on coffee and i got her number. Had a great time, at the end of the night i walked her home and hugged her, she was living nearby.

Later she messaged me saying that she had a great time.

Couple of days later i called her and asked to go out again, she agreed and we went to watch a movie.

She told me that is going to this party for which i had some free tickets so i mentioned her i can arange it. Now couple of days later at the party she called me when she got in and told me to call her when i arrive, so i did, we only greeted and nothing happened. She was kind of avoiding me, in the middle of conversation went to talk with her friend and stayed with him the whole night.

At the end as i was going out saw her and just went to say bye.
The next day she apologized told me she had some problem, and that as she mentioned once, that she is crazy and i wouldn’t want to hangout with her after i get to know her better. And here goes my mistake saying that, its not true unless she wants that. On which she replied that she wants to hangout with me.

Now how should i proceed, what is my next move, should i call her and ask her to go out, send some msg or just forget about it?

Thanks in advance!

[MrAntiquity]

other people will have more advice, but seems like you got a number of early positive signals from her, which is potentially good. Parties can be rough since there’s a whole “other people” dynamic which makes things tricky–a party is usually where I drop the ball, to be honest.

You’ve been out twice–nothing’s happened yet–maybe take a risk and invite her to your place for food/movie/whatever and see where things go? Ignore the “I’m crazy” line–people say all sorts of nonsense. Everybody is crazy in some way or another.

[SomeguyUK]

If a girl ever apologizes to me over something like that, I usually half-jokingly say she can make it up to me. This lets her no that you are still ok with her, and it sets a frame where she’s trying to do right by you.

Personally I think texts are way better than calls. Text her. Don’t ask her out on the first text, flirt a little first and then suggest a date.

[Eric Disco]

> Couple of days later i called her and asked to go out again, she agreed and we went to watch a movie.

I’m assuming you didn’t hook up because you didn’t say anything about that. If you didn’t at least make out with her on the second date, that could be a problem.

> Now couple of days later at the party she called me when she got in and told me to call her when i arrive, so i did, we only greeted and nothing happened. She was kind of avoiding me, in the middle of conversation went to talk with her friend and stayed with him the whole night.

While I would avoid meeting a woman at a party in lieu of a date, parties can be a great place to show high value. You can socialize with other people, particularly attractive women, and stoke up some nice jealousy plotlines.

> Now how should i proceed, what is my next move, should i call her and ask her to go out, send some msg or just forget about it?

Send her a text message. First ‘ping’ her with something meaningless or flirty. Once she responds, then ask her on another date. However, I would plan something and invite her along with you. For example, “I’m checking out a gallery opening tomorrow night. Wanna tag along?”

And for god’s sake, make sure you get sexual on the date.

> You’ve been out twice–nothing’s happened yet–maybe take a risk and invite her to your place for food/movie/whatever and see where things go

This is not a bad idea, especially if you haven’t hooked up with her yet. She may be hesitant to hang out with you because she doesn’t want to hang out with you and not hook up again.

> If a girl ever apologizes to me over something like that, I usually half-jokingly say she can make it up to me. This lets her no that you are still ok with her, and it sets a frame where she’s trying to do right by you.

Yup. Although I might be a little more jokey about it because you don’t want to seem butthurt that she didn’t spend enough time with you. I might say, “Yeah, I was getting hit on by all these women at the party. Where were you to save me?”

Eric

[Jeff_1]

Thanks for the suggestions and replies, really appreciated!

I’m assuming you didn’t hook up because you didn’t say anything about that. If you didn’t at least make out with her on the second date, that could be a problem.

I did not make out with her, but i did invite her to watch a movie at my place saying that there isn’t much choice at the theater, on which she just replied with a movie suggestion showing at the theater. So i did not want to push anything that date.

And yeah i could definitely replied something like that on her apology, because as a matter of fact i did make out with other girl (she did not see me).

Anyways i will ping her in the next days and if she replies gonna suggest to tag along on something which i have planned.

Thanks again, will keep you posted

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