Help with this one?

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Eric Disco 5 years, 11 months ago.

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  • #69822

    equilibrium48
    Participant

    Hey, so im having an odd issue with this one girl where basically she’s giving me tons of attention but for some reason wont let me kiss her. I try to escalate by touching more, and when i go for the kiss she always turns her head slightly so i miss the lips. We were dancing at a party this past weekend, i went for it, she turned and i called it out and said “playing hard to get are we”?, and she replied “this isnt a game” lol.
    Any tips on how to handle this? Often i get girls who are compliant and go with the flow but this one is quite different haha.

    #69823

    Eric Disco
    Keymaster

    Pull away some. I think that by calling attention to her initial rejection with your line ‘playing hard to get?’, rather than completely ignoring it, cooling off a bit, and going for it later (or not), you looked like you were trying-too-hard — so she’ll feel like you’re just trying to get some action. Which you may well be πŸ™‚ But it can turn the heat down–rather than up–which isn’t what you want.

    #69826

    Eric Disco
    Keymaster

    Well the thing is that i havent even gone for a date with her or anything. Met her while camping, she became attached to me (or so it seemed) by not leaving me the whole time we were there. Went for the kiss then, got rejected. Then i met up with her at a party this past weekend, she didnt want to dance with anyone except me and kept following me around wherever i went. Again i went for the kiss while we were grinding, and again she turned her head. I cant seem to figure this one out lol.

    #69827

    Eric Disco
    Keymaster

    ask Lee/Eric πŸ™‚ Sounds like she’s attracted to you on some levels, ambivalent about it on others. That’s the kind of annoying/ambiguous situation where if you’re decent with women, it generally works out–if you’re not decent with women, it never works out… see what the expert say on this one!

    #69839

    Eric Disco
    Keymaster

    Thanks man for the input! Yeah, waiting to see if Eric or Lee will chime in and help a brotha out. I’ll be seeing her again this upcoming weekend at a party so maybe i’ll try to pull away a bit like you said earlier and perhaps dance with other girls to show her that im not super into her, which im not lol, but i do want to make out with her and her not reciprocating is confusing the hell outta me hah

    #69858

    Eric Disco
    Keymaster

    She’s not sure you’re into her, so she’s trying to get you to invest time before giving you what you want. It’s a good strategy. If you’re not into her, you will eventually give up. If you’re into her, you will eventually get what you want. Do you really want to convince this girl to have a meaningless encounter with you? I would let it go. Spend your effort on girls whose attraction to you is stronger than their caution. On the other hand, suppose you do want to give a potential relationship with this girl a real shot. How should you do it? You have to get her to invest a bit more as well. Take her on a proper date. When things are going well, start pushing for what you want. Let her plainly and forcefully say no. When she does, look at your watch and calmly say “I’ve had enough struggle for one night. I’m going to go meet up with a few friends. Call me when you figure out that you’re really attracted to me and maybe we can try again.” Kiss her on the cheek and go. No plans. No explanations. Just walk out. Let her feel the loss.

    –Lee

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