Going out on your own at the weekends for over 40, any advice?

[Joey]

Hi,

I recently bought Erics ebook and I can certainly identify with the typical character who is kind of geek and stays home – a recluse.

At last I have some sort of framework to use/implement. So many thanks to Eric (wish I had known about this earlier!)

I’m in step 1, having done visiting different venues, I’m now visiting 3 chosen regular places each day before eventually moving onto step 2.

Anyway, I’m in my mid 40’s and the fews friends I have are all married (with kids) so I can’t go out with them on Fridays/Saturdays.

So where could I go out on my own at my age on Friday/Saturdays? Has anybody done this and in particular are you in your late 30’s or 40’s? How did you feel when you first started?

Joey

[Eric Disco]

Hey Man,

I have a few recommendations. I hate to go to loud, raucous places. I refuse to yell over loud music to speak with a woman. Me and my friends, who are also 40 and over, like to go to bars and lounges earlier in the evening. Anywhere from 6-10 PM on weekends and weeknights. When you go earlier, there’s less people to fight with. You tend to get an older crowd. And of course it is less noisy.

You’ll have to experiment with the correct times and days to get the optimum density of people at any location. In the summer, for example, there are more people out earlier on.

I also did a write-up, using the six-step method in bars:

http://approachanxiety.com/using-the-six-step-method-in-bars/

Eric

[Cartoox]

Spring & summer there are restaurants with outdoor seating that tend to attract a lot of women; I’d experiment and go out on friday lunch time to a few places just to see which ones have the right crowd & vibe and where you’d feel comfortable talking to people. Restaurants with a lot of fresh salads and organic themed food tend to be very popular with the fairer sex in general. depends where you live I guess. Good luck

[Joey]

Eric, thanks very much for that article, fits nicely into what you write in your ebook.

One question: I’m on Step 2 (5 days into it) going out during the day. Do you think it’s worth maybe holding off just for a while longer until I’m really okay with Step 2 during the day before going out doing Step 1 (and 2) in the evening?

I ask since , so far after 5 days, I find Step 2 quite tuff. I think I may need a few weeks on this step.

Thanks again for the article, i feel quite excited although nervous.

Joey

[highfive]

Along similar lines to what others have said, I don’t go where younger people pickup (clubs, late night bars, etc.). If you are standing around a bunch of 25 year old dudes in a bar, you’ll look even older by comparison – your game will have to be powerful to succeed. If you’re game is not tight, then focus on where you can get 1-to-1 interactions, I do only day game. Bookstores, grocery stores, park, even standing outside on the sidewalk where people are waiting for something/someone.

[Eric Disco]

I always found it a bit difficult to focus on both nightgame and daygame at the same time. Maybe it’s just me, but they are about as opposite as you can get in terms of social environments. Yes, in both you are initiating interactions with strangers, but in nightgame they are expecting it to happen which makes it both harder and easier in different ways. So if it were me, I would focus on either daygame or nightgame for a while, and once you feel you are fairly competent, then master the other. If you feel you have a lot of emotional energy to do both, then go for it. But as somewhat of an introvert, I have always felt my time and energy were somewhat limited which means I have to focus more.

Eric

[Author]

Posts