Follow up to email contact

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    I know I’m bombarding you all with my stories/questions at the moment, but the board’s kinda quiet so fuck it.

    I wanted to talk about the girl that emailed me.

    So I stopped this girl in the street the other day – don’t really like doing that, but I just had to meet this girl. I tried to do some ballsy stuff, like making a masturbation joke within the first minute. I told her my favourite story, asked her to tell me one (she couldn’t) and then I made an excuse to leave.

    I gave her my card not really expecting anything of it, but three days later I get an email:

    “Hey SomeguyUK,

    It was good to meet you the other day in the city of London. A little odd perhaps as I do not tend to get accosted by men on the street πŸ˜‰ – but I would like to stress good all the same.
    very brave move on your behalf…
    I hope you are well.

    This is my email and it was nice meeting you”

    [I knew I had to avoid dickless orbiter territory, but I had no idea what to reply with so I said this:]

    “It was nice meeting you too. What a pleasantly random encounter – you’re pretty brave yourself for staying and talking.

    So how was Sweden?

    By the way, you still owe me a story..

    SomeguyUK x ”

    [She then sends me an even longer email, which I will shorten for you:]

    ” Not in sweden yet, I’m going next week….what was the name of the club there you told me about….blah blah blah

    As for the story…that’s a tough one. I really find it hard to come up with one out of the blue…

    Anyway, forget the story, tell me more about you. I would like to hear more… ”


    Now normally, I would just suggest we go for a drink. But here’s the kicker: she lives in Scotland, but apparently comes to London quite often for work.

    I’d like to see her again though, she was a nice girl. Do you guys think I should just end the conversation and tell her to meet me for a drink next time she’s in London? Or should I keep talking to her on email and get to know her a bit more?

    I have developed relationships with girls over facebook/whatsapp before, but never email. I’m kinda worried that I have created some amazing first impression that I won’t be able to live up to over email!

    What do you guys think?


    If I do cut it short, I was thinking of saying something like this..

    “My favourite colour is blue, I love cats, and I always wear a condom.

    Seriously seem nice, so let’s do this in person. Let me know next time you’re in London and we’ll go for a drink to see if we get along.




    Nice work, SG–

    Seems like she’s into you, and from the tone of what she’s saying she’s giving you a bit of a “let’s see where this goes” vibe. It’s the kind of email you get after a good opening salvo on a personal ad πŸ™‚

    You’re right you can lose the luster over email–so you want to be careful to keep things a bit short, a bit fun, a bit mysterious, a bit sexy, and try to nail that drink in London down pretty quickly. Maybe in the next email you can find out when she’s in town? Or maybe challenge her to send you a picture of something intriguing she found in Scotland. That’ll keep her going.

    But anyway, email shouldn’t be any different than fb/what’s app. Just because you can write long emails doesn’t mean you have to in this case.



    Thanks man. Think you’re right, I am leaning more towards just asking her when she is in London next.

    Only problem is I didn’t get to know her that well .I’m a bit worried I don’t have enough rapport for her to meet me.

    (btw, did you see my idea for a response above?)


    for some reason the response showed up after my post.

    Depending on what she’s like, that could be a good response, although she IS asking you for real info about you, so it might be worth adding a bit of real info to the quip, too. There’s a cheekiness/maturity balance you want to strike.

    Re: rapport, you’re not really going to generate much rapport over email anyway–and honestly I don’t think you really need to here–she liked your approach–she directly told you that–and she emailed you out of the blue based on you giving her a card. That’s all the “in” you need–use a drink for rapport building.

    If the drink doesnt’ end up happening, I don’t think it’ll have been for lack of rapport but just logistics. But make it happen πŸ™‚


    You’re right, she did ask for real info…I reckon I’ll leave it till tomorrow and come back with something half playful, half serious just to keep it fun. Will scrap my idea above.



    Hey man, you’re doing great! Just saw this & I’m typing on my phone so it’s gonna be short , here’s my 2 cents :

    I agree w Mr A about keeping it short mysterious a bit sexy, so here’s a possible answer:

    (Her Name)

    Tell you what, we’ll go get a drink at my favorite place the next time you’re in London & you’ll have your chance to cross examine me some more….a few weeks should be enough to come up with a few stories of your own for me…..

    Something along those lines….I was wondering whether telling her to have drinks implies you’re always available so I put in the “few weeks” which implies she should give you some advance notice of when she plans to be in town next

    Anyway good luck

    I’ll write more when I’m back on my computer


    Saying she’s interested in getting to know more about you is buy-in and you shouldn’t blow it off. Don’t be glib. You can easily over-game her. Give her some info. Tell her a little story about yourself, something that reveals a little of your personality. You can then cut it off by saying something like this “enough! i’m not a big email guy. the next time you’re in london, you can interrogate me in person. bring the handcuffs, the bright lights, and the truth serum, and between gasps for air, i’ll mumble (almost) all of my secrets :)”. I wouldn’t ask her out now. I would wait until she gives you an approximate date. Meanwhile, you can send her a short text or a link every two or three days. Don’t over-text. It’s needy and it shows that, even with a very uncertain reward, this success is important to you. It shouldn’t be.



    Thanks Lee, stirling advice as always. Will update if anything intetesting comes of it..

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