Facebook analysis needed!

[SomeguyUK]

So I woke up today to a facebook friend request/message from a girl I haven’t seen in about 7 years. In that time she has become smoking hot!!I never knew her well, but I know she has a thing for long-haired guys (like me). I don’t think she purposely looked me up, but some of our mutual friends ‘liked’ a post I made.

Her: Hey SomeguyUK, hope you’re good, been ages since I saw you in brighton in the rock clubs! I moved back to london a few years back, live in camden now. In case you don’t recognise my pic it’s Kate 🙂

Me: Hey Kate, long time no see. How’s life treating you? 🙂

[I immediately regret the smiley. She sees my message but doesn’t reply till 7 hours later]

Her: Yeah, been years I think! I’m ok, kinda glad to be back in London although I miss a few mates. Brighton is too small. How’s you been?

[I wait 5 hours and decide to to display interest]

Me: Totally agree – can’t believe I stayed there as long as I did. I’ve been really busy, but I have a fun life so I can’t complain.

You’re looking really foxy these days. Shockingly blonde too – almost didn’t recognise you!

Her: I know what you mean…I moved from London to brighton, had enough after a couple years but ended up staying longer as well.Just bored me stiff, should have moved back sooner than I did. A lot more going on in London. You busy doing music? Funny about the hair…yeah I’ve been platinum blonde for a few years but ironically just had to go to the hairdressers [yawn] and dye it a different colour. Didn’t want to but it really kills your hair and breaks it off. I’m just getting over the initial shock myself of not being blonde…don’t really like it but there you go. See how long I last haha..

—

Now, on one hand she didn’t respond to my comment about being foxy, but she did write a rambling message about nothing in response.

What do you guys think?

[ryano]

The facebook analysis isn’t really the issue, your whole hesitation and second guessing yourself is the issue here.

1. “I immediately regret the smiley. She sees my message but doesn’t reply till 7 hours later”.

This is horseshit. do whatever you want. Add the smiley. she wouldn’t have replied until 7 hours later anyway. I told you about people’s interest. She was busy fingering herself and then going to the supermarket so she didn’t answer answer your question. It’s not about you dammit.

2. “I wait 5 hours and decide to to display interest”.

So you had to wait 5 hours to make her think you’re “cool”. Dude, do what you want. If you’re next to your computer and you see her message, just go ahead and reply to it. Don’t do things to make people “like you”. Just act like yourself AT ALL times. if people don’t like it, and they prefer people that take long times to message good for them. I fucking hate people that take forever to message me back personally. So I make it a point to message people after 1 second (if I see their message).

3. “but I have a fun life so I can’t complain.”

This again sounds like something you pre-meditated to make her think that you’re “da shit”. Stop doing that. Talk to her the way you talk to us.

4. The only thing I liked about your message to her is that you called her “foxy”. Now you’ve actually said something that you really think. That’s great. Another thing that it accomplishes is it shows her that you find her attractive. Should she say “thanks” or acknowledge it? No, they never do. But just by her continuing to talk with you means you’re doing good.

——————————————————

You need to understand why she messaged you. She got horny and now she wants to see you. Maybe she liked the way you look.

That’s all you need to know, don’t start analyzing yourself, don’t start making yourself look cool, don’t do all this extra stuff because it shows “neediness”. Just roll with what you have. You basically need to take her out on a date, that’s it.

Now you can just say to her. “listen, I was thinking it’d be great to see you again. Want to meet me for a drink after work one of these days?”

And that’s it. don’t overthink this. keep it simple, just go along with what SHE wanted — a date.

[ryano]

and btw, let me just add that playing NO games is attractive these days. and girls rarely see it. It’s because most men these days dance around what they really want. always be true to what you want. If you’re on the date with her and you feel like touching her, go ahead, if you feel like making out with her after a bit, go ahead. Just be completely free with your desires. that’s really all that women want from a man. that’s what edge is. when the guy is true to his nature. (mr. nice guy is when the guy does everything against his nature to appear a certain ‘way’ to a girl)

[SomeguyUK]

Haha, I knew you were going to crucify me for some of those comments Ryano.

In my defence, I was a different person 7 years ago when I knew this girl – I was a lot more ‘nicer’ with girls. Maybe I’m overthinking but I wanted to show that I’m not the same now. I know you don’t believe in waiting to reply but I have fucked up by being too eager many times.

As for the ‘fun life’ comment, that’s not me trying to be cool, I do have a fun life!

[SomeguyUK]

Anyways you did inspire me to bite the bullet rather than waiting further – so have asked her out.

[MrAntiquity]

I like the exchange–looks confident. @Ryan’s filled you in on the details–Lee’ll prob. be along too. But from what I see–yeah, it lookss like she contacted you out of interest (who knows how much, yet), you chatted, said she was hot and asked her out. Not worth stressing on the timing, etc since she chased you down in the first place. Also she doesn’t really need to reply to the foxy line–she kept things going.

So well done–sit back and things just happen! Boom. Enjoy your date 🙂

[ryano]

The advice that I’m giving you is not really about being nice. it’s about being yourself entirely. and when you’re really yourself you’re never nice. because true human nature isn’t nice.

for example i tend to be very assertive and true to what i feel. so i’ve had many girls that i’ve actually complained to them that they’re taking too long to message me for example that i don’t like to date “slow typers”, or given them demands about what i want and what i don’t want. there’s no apologizing for what i do.
on dates there’s alot of polarizing, where I’m the one that leads, decides, opens the doors for her, touches her here and there. i’m very flirty and sexual too because that’s what is fun for me. and i have a certain type of humor and intelligence from a girl that i like. if we don’t click on that level i end the date. you need to polarize to attract. I’m also the one that takes the risks. i invite her back to my place, etc.

nice is tiptoeing around what you really want and doing things for her because you think it’s something she wants to hear. or changing yourself for the girl. like the guy in that previous post that told me how he’s chasing a girl that actually told him she wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. in my book that girl would be gone the moment she even uttered those words. anyway.. the moment i learned to be true to my desires that’s really what got me results.. you must be true to your desires though and eliminate anyone that doesn’t fit those desires though. don’t mold for the girl.

now the girl that messaged you i can tell she wants to see you and date you. make sure she knows it’s mutual and on the date just be very flirty and if you’re interested in her make sure you express yourself accordingly.

[SomeguyUK]

I get what you are saying about being true to your desires. That’s a place I want to get to fully. However, I think it’s easier to be totally yourself with women when you have lots of options – which I don’t at this point.

I did get a really cute girl’s number in Topshop today too though 🙂 So maybe that will start to change.

[ryano]

“However, I think it’s easier to be totally yourself with women when you have lots of options”

this is the chicken an egg problem, but by totally being yourself, that’s how you get ALOT of options. because by being yourself you understand that you MUST MUST MUST hit on women all the freaking time!

awesome work in topshop. you can get a new girl’s number from that place every single day if you wanted to, btw. it’s not hard. just approach at the very least 5 a day in that store, and say “hi sorry to interrupt, i just thought you looked great.. my name is XXX”. don’t show anxiety. don’t overly smile, maybe just a polite smile. but your facial expression and vibe should be like drinking a glass of water i.e., no big deal (and it won’t be after you’ve approached hundreds in that way). she says “blabla” or “blabla thanks but i have a bf”. if she says the former you just ask her a few basic questions like does she live in the area, where does she work. you reciprocate with that information, then you just ask for the number telling her you’d like to meet up for a coffee and get to “know eachother better” and leave. the conversation should not take more than 60 seconds (if you wish to continue the conversation, that’s fine.. but just know that it’s not a requirement) if you get the number just leave the store. if you don’t get the number due to her having a bf you approach more. and under no circumstances let it effect you if she turns you down. you should not even flinch. just go about your merry business like it never even happened. and don’t be scared to approach girls even in her vicinity. it’s not even an issue getting a new number every day if you’re just direct and keep it basic.

[SomeguyUK]

Update: I asked her out, she said she is working this weekend at cage fighting matches (!) but let’s meet up next week. Looks like the universe has thrown me a freebie for once.

Topshop girl seemed keen, but I texted her a few hours ago, no response. Will keep plowing on with approaches. This is the first week ever that I have been able to approach every single day just going about my daily life, so still a victory I think.

[ryano]

cage fighting is her interest. both of these girls don’t mean anything dude. the only thing that’s important is your ability to take action. if you keep on getting numbers, you’ll text them and forget about them then all of a sudden out of nowhere one bites. you need many like that. work on your pipeline, not on a girl. before you have sex with a girl, they’re just fleeting instances. (after you have atleast sex, now the girl becomes a more serious part in your life.. atleast from her point of view).
but just keep doing your part, approach them every day, ask for numbers, and all of a sudden you’ll see you’ll have more girls than you’ll know what to do with, to where YOU’RE the one that starts ignoring them because you simply can’t handle the volume. you need to experience that. you’re almost there i can feel it. just put all your focus on generating leads not on “when she’ll meet, will she text me back, why hasn’t she answered / was it something i said?” those questions will get you nowhere. bc a single instance will always disappoint you, but many girls will never disappoint you. as my mentor janka said, RESULTS HAPPEN IN AGGREGATE.

p.s yeah taht’s fine with ‘just going about your daily life’ but if you’re serious about getting leads. park yourself in topshop. or by oxford circus for an hour, or some busy train station. do massive approaches for a solid hour (no breaks) and then you’ll see what results look like i prmoise

[SomeguyUK]

I hear you man. I went out yesterday and did 4 approaches over a couple of hours. I’m trying to get to the place where I can just approach relentlessly. I can now approach without needing to warm up, which is great.

My problem now is just that I hesitate, I want the perfect moment to approach, and I get self conscious when there are lots of people around. So I blow a lot of opportunities. But I know it’s just a case of persevering and powering through all those sticking points.

[ryano]

think of your comfort zone like a little circle, with every approach you do it just grows to the point where it just gets bigger and bigger to where it engulfs everything around you. at that point, the world is yours. you don’t need to get into “state”, or worry about “people next to you”. you just open with whatever you want, next to people, or not.

just keep practicing. keep making it hurt. just like in the gym where the only way to get big muscles is to make it hurt. pickup is the same, where these social interactions need to make it hurt for you. only then do you expand yourself.

p.s and forget about perfect moments. it’s more important to just keep focusing on expanding your comfort zone. go into weird, awkward situations on purpose. make girls walk away from you on purpose. cause the moment your comfort zone has truly expanded, everything will look like a perfect moment.

[The_Hurricane]

When a girl hunts you down, you really don’t have to do much. She doesn’t need to be gamed. After a few lines of text, you should have just asked her out.

–Lee

[SomeguyUK]

Maybe I didn’t describe it too well, but that’s exactly what I did (on my third response and she said yes).

[Author]

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