June 23, 2017 at 6:34 am #73748
Each week, as I move on to the next step, I seem to come up with a new question. I’ll continue to post them here as they come up for me.
This week’s is an interesting one: duplicate interactions. I go to the gym every day. I have for over 10 years, and in this case I’ve gone to the same gym for about 3 years. In those three years I’ve not spoken to anyone. I go in, work out, leave. And up until I started working through She’s Six Steps Away that’s exactly how I liked it.
However, now, as I’ve been training myself to do, when I see a women I go up and say my opening line. No hesitation.
However, I went and did this to the women I’ve seen at the gym (and I’m sure have seen me) for years at this point.
I realized later, did I just ‘use up’ these interactions? For example, I can’t go in each day and ask a different opening question; “Is there a Yoga class here?” Monday, “Do you know where the X machine is” Tuesday, etc.
Did I basically just opt out of having further interactions with these women because I used an opener? Which then made me wonder, what do you do with women you see every day? It’s not like I work with these people. I have nothing to lose by speaking to them. This isn’t my social circle either. It’s just people I happen to see every day because we have a mutual interest. But should that change my approach? Should I have just been friendly instead, knowing I would see them again? By opening them, did I make it so they are now ‘expended’ in the context of this system?
Which leads me to my next question: What happens if you see these people again? I’m going to the same 5-6 places every day. I’m bound to have overlap at some point. And I’m certainly not memorizing the face, clothing and opening line I use with everyone I meet. I know it’s a matter of time before a girl goes, “Did you just ask me the exact same question you asked last week? I told you where the coffee shop is….did you seriously forget?!” I would be paralyzed if this happened!
Any of your usual brilliant insight would be welcome here, Eric. Thanks in advance. 🙂June 23, 2017 at 11:41 am #73749
After your question, introduce yourself then walk off.
You: Is there a Yoga class here?
Her: I think there’s a listing on the board in the back.
You: Cool thanks. By the way, I’m Eric.
Her: I’m Tara. Nice to meet you.
You: Have fun on the rowing machine!
Next time you see her, you can say hi to her and continue the conversation.
The beauty of this is that you seem non-needy by walking off and you can build up rapport gradually.
EricJune 23, 2017 at 5:41 pm #73750
Nice I like it. That’s a slick way of going about it.
Any ideas for running into the same people on the street? I.E. People I don’t think I’ll see again, but then do and end up asking them the exact same question as the week prior?June 23, 2017 at 8:12 pm #73752
If you mistakenly ask someone the same question a few weeks apart, joke it off as if you meant to do it, as if you remember asking her the question last time and did it again to be funny. “You were so helpful last time, I just had to ask you again.”
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