Could use some thoughts

[Bikl]

I’m really at a loss of words on this one. Last night i had a party at my place and i invited this girl i’ve been talking to for some time. Even though she has never been to my place she showed up, all by herself. We had a few drinks and started to get flirty. At the end of the night i brought her to the bus station and i planned on asking her out, but suddenly her entire attitude changed. She talked to me with her body facing a different direction and not even looking at me, she suddenly stopped smiling and talked about other guys. Me as the wuss i am totally shut down at the first sight of this change in her behavior and i walked away fully confused after her bua left. The strange thing is: the first thing she did when she got home was text me… Any thoughts?

[MrAntiquity]

it’s kind of a pressure situation–like the old classic “kiss a girl on the doorstep after you drop her off” thing. So it could be that you were acting a bit differently but not completely aware of it, or she had a sense that you were going to make some sort of move but wanted to put you off in that moment.

Best to not try to read into it. At some point soon suggest some sort of “date” (i.e. just her–not with a group) and see if she takes you up on it.

btw what was her text?

[Bikl]

She told me she had fun and came home safely

[Eric Disco]

She showed up at your party. You are the center of attention because it’s your party. These are all your friends. This is very attractive to a woman. It’s a ton of social proof.

You walking her to her bus stop was a nice thing to do, particularly if she showed up at your party. Not saying you shouldn’t have done it, but women can get turned off when the guy does nice things for the girl, particularly early on or before you’ve slept with her.

It’s possible she expected you to try and hook up with her while she was at your place and got turned off when you didn’t try. Maybe she was horny and wanted to get laid.

And if you still had friends at the party, leaving them to do something nice for her could make it even worse. Again, not that you shouldn’t have done it, but it can turn a woman off when you play the nice guy.

If anything, I might have offered to let her stay at your place for the night.

Eric

[elliotrey]

I hear you bro.
There are several things that she could be doing – she could be testing you, she could not see you in that way, she could be trying to make you jealous, she could be messing with your head.

OK so first of even tho the above can make any brother heart sync – FIRSTLY STOP CARING ABOUT IT. I know it’s hard – best thing to do if she does that, you do it as well. If she turns away – don’t care about it – the less you react to stuff like that and the more fun you have – the MORE YOU WILL BE OBVIOUSLY A STRONG ALPHA MALE.

One thing I like to do is turn away myself and then engage other people also. At the end of the day – it DOESN’T matter if it’s her or not. Get into the KING GAME dynamic of bringing the rest of the party together – get other people involved in the fun your having – speak to other girls. You’ll get her attention – she need’s to earn it from you as YOU ARE A HIGH VALUE MAN. One thing tho – don’t do it to get her attention – DO IT TO HAVE FUN YOURSELF. Because let’s face it bro: you deserve to have fun, you deserve to have a great time at the party – your awesome and people WANT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU – because you bring the party to them.

You can do it bro. I believe in you 100%. Yep!

Peace,

Elliot
Get this and elevate your game: http://alphamastery.net

[SomeguyUK]

I have to say, it really gets my goat when people say things like ‘just stop caring’. That is up there with ‘just be confident’.

If it was that easy to just change your thoughts and feelings at will, this forum wouldn’t exist.

[elliotrey]

I understand why you feel like that. I didn’t mean to offed you there.

I agree changing your thoughts and feelings is a pointless endeavour – just doesn’t work permanently anyway.

This forum is great as well. A real gift to everyone.

What I noticed and was communicating there – is to not put so much pressure on myself for one particular situation. The less I built it up as something that was a really big issue by relaxing around the thoughts or emotions of it. I felt more carefree towards it. Then I could let go allot easier.

I hope your goats ok bro. Didn’t mean to get it or how ever it is.

Stay awesome.
Peace,

Elliot Rey
Get this and elevate your game: http://alphamastery.net

[SomeguyUK]

Oh, I didn’t mean I was offended – don’t worry!

I just think a lot of these things are similar to cliched bits of advice you hear like ‘just be yourself’. I agree it’s good not to put pressure on yourself – but how do you actually apply that idea? So much of our thinking in these situations is subconscious.

I guess being consciously aware of how you are feeling is a good starts.

[zhelyazko]

You’re right @SomeguyUK I think it is just being aware, and acting on your knowledge, not emotions e.g. you know you should approach, but your emotions telling you not to.

It is difficult to do so of course. But still a better option than trying to change how you feel before you act. Confidence the action, comes before confidence the feeling in most cases, I think.

[SomeguyUK]

Totally agree man 🙂

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