Become the selector—not the selected

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    decided to repost this from an earlier post that was a bit confusing. I re-edit it and repost here


    Some men go out to meet women and hope that she will like him enough to give him her number.

    You cast your bait, and hope that anything hooks.

    Imagine a guy named Arthur who goes to a public place and starts picking up random women that he sees. Some respond to him, while others do not.

    At the end of the day, he managed to score a few digits. Good for Arthur.

    Now imagine yourself going to local hangout place that you like — Lets say that it was starbucks. You like the atmosphere, you like the people. And then you see this cute woman sitting all alone by herself.

    Shes reading a book about a topic that you are also passionate about. so you go up to her and you both start a conversation about the book.
    You’re both giggling, having fun getting to know each other, and have a deep conversation about topics that you both like and enjoy.

    At the end of the conversation you excuse yourself and ask for her number—which she happily gives to you. And you go back home and send her text when to meet up for your first date.

    When I first started learning how to talk to women, I was just focused on warming up, learning and improving talking to women. I wasn’t focused so much on scoring a date with them (if I got a date, then that would be a bonus).

    But as I learned to get comfortable talking to them, I started to qualify and filter the ones I enjoy being around with vs the ones who I don’t feel a connection with.

    Shogo explains in his website that most men would go to any bar, tries his luck on any random woman he meets and hopes that he gets selected (or laid) by the woman.

    These men give power to the woman to decide or not decide whether she will sleep with him or not.

    Shogo advices that you need to start qualifying women, and become the selector—and not the selected.

    know your worth and set standards for yourself— know what kind of people you want in your life, as well as whom you don’t want.

    The selectors, the men who attract women into their lives naturally, have taken the time to think about what qualities turn them on in a woman. They look at what they desire and what they crave in a woman, and they are not willing to sleep with just anyone…

    Don’t you really want to be the selector and not always the selected?

    Set standards for yourself. Explore what kind of a woman actually turns you on mentally, physically, and how she makes you feel–and go after that.

    Truly believe that when you’re going out to meet new people, or when you’re on a date with a new woman, what you are looking for is a woman who will really blow your mind—along with everything else…

    – See more at:


    its not about who gets the most dates (quantity), but Its about meeting the right person who you both have a deep connection with (quality).

    What are your interests? What do you like to talk about? If you were to travel with a potential partner on a 10 hour flight, what would you two be discussing about?

    Take the time to get to know yourself, and figure out who you would want in your life.

    Deep down inside, do you really just want to sleep with a bunch of women?

    Or do you want to have amazing sex with a smoking hot woman who you feel incredible being around with?

    be the selector–not the selected.

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