Any Chance to turn this around?
August 23, 2017 at 2:20 am #73807
First off, thank you so much for this site Eric. Its literally unbelievable how far I’ve come since I starting reading your articles and this forum.
I’ll try and make this as brief as possible. My writing skills suck, but please bear with me.
I went to the bar Saturday night with a couple friends. I approached this girl who was checking me out hard while I was ordering a drink. No lie, she was a 10. Toward the beginning of our convo she mentions how she saw me earlier and was glad I came over to her. At some point she mentions that she’s 20, then learns that I’m 29. She says something like how are you not taken by now blah, blah, blah. Then she insinuates that I’m too old for her, but wishes I was a couple years younger. However, she remains fully engaged with me throughout the night. Things were going very well. Having a few drinks in me and feeling great I lean in for a kiss. She slightly turns away and says, “Not in front of my friends.” I smirk as if I’m not affected by that rejection and continue. Even after that she is still very engaged with me.
Later as the bar closes, 2 of my friends return home to my buddy’s beach house, while one other friend and I wrangle up my girl and her 5 friends. My girl and 2 of her friends leave in my Truck. My buddy and 3 of her friends jump in the same Uber.
When we returned to my buddy’s beach house, my girl informs me that she’s not having sex with me. I brush that off, because many times its completely meaningless. Shortly after that I was able to lead my girl down to the beach. It was just us. We briefly talked and flirted before a pretty passionate make out session. Hate to sound like a douche, but it was actually kind of romantic. She even commented that no one has ever kissed her like that. We then return to the house. I immediately lead her into a bedroom. I lay her on the bed, get on top of her and starting making out again. It was basically missionary dry humping with clothes on. It got pretty hot and heavy though. Her legs are wrapped around my back and shes doing some serious thrusting. Then starts tugging on my hair. She then starts to wind it down and we return to the party with everyone else.
At this point everyone is talking and having a good time. I start to engage her friends a little more. They are all laughing and having fun. The vibe I got from her friends was that they definitely liked me, which is always helpful. At some point they all got an Uber and left. Before leaving, my girl puts her # in my phone and saves it under her full name. Certainly not some and uninterested girl would do.
Now here is where I fuck it all up. Feeling all excited, I decided to bypass everything I’ve learned and text her the next morning(Sunday). I open with something like, “Hey my friends and I are gonna hang at my buddy’s beach today. You and your friends should join us.” She shoots back that she already left her friends vacation home and is back to her house. She then says, “Bummer, but I had fun last night!”
I say, “yup, so did I.”
Then I say, “We should hangout soon”
I know I fucked everything up with my next morning texts, but I’m still surprised there wasn’t enough attraction remaining there to overcome that. I assume being 9 years older than her, not being needy was probably more important than ever. And I do wonder if the age thing had any affect.
All that being said, I’m gonna go for broke and try and contact her again tomorrow.(Wednesday) If that fails. I’ll just drop her. I figure waiting 3 days after the no response is my only recourse. Perhaps I already looked too needy and this is a lost cause.
Sorry for the long winded story that probably has way too many details, but I wanted to put everything in the proper context.
Does anyone have any advice on how I might right this ship? I assume its over, but she was pretty cool and an absolute dime, so im gonna try once more.August 23, 2017 at 8:25 pm #73810
Good job on getting the initial hookup. I don’t have a lot of advice but there’s a good chance this thing isn’t dead in the water. You asked her to hang out and she said no but you did spend a lot of time with her. Was probably too soon to text. I would sit on this for a three or four more days and then ping her with something innocuous. Depending on how much interest she’s showing, ask her if she wants to tag along with you when you go to do something. If she’s not showing a ton of interest, don’t invite her out and put her on ice for a week or so before pinging her again.
EricAugust 25, 2017 at 3:06 pm #73811
Thanks for the advice. Pretty much along the lines of what I was thinking.
Question though, If I ping her and she isn’t showing much interest shouldn’t I just assume it’s over. I mean what would suddenly cause her to be more interested after I wait a week and ping again? It’d essentially be 2+ weeks since the last them we saw each other.August 28, 2017 at 8:23 pm #73812
A couple things. If she felt like you came on a little strong after the date, waiting a little longer could allay that. It can up your value as well, making it seem like you won’t chase her. The main thing though is that it gives it more chance that she will think about you in that time, that she’ll wonder whether she missed a chance with you and maybe she should have responded. Give her the gift of missing you.
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