Reply To: Terrible Fear of Getting Into Trouble Again?

[AriMoJ]

I might add my 2 cents. You’ll never totally get rid of unhelpful thoughts and feelings. You need to just accept them and continue doing it anyway. Once you accept your feelings and allow them to be, without focusing on them, they won’t bother you as much. You could be focusing inward too much, on what you’re doing and analysing everything instead of focusing on the moment, which is simply talking and honestly finding out about another human being. The more you do it the less uncomfortable you will feel.

Personally, I’m not a fan of direct approaches. Why would I show such direct interest before I know what her personality is like? Because until I do, I’m ‘not’ interested. I prefer to stick to indirect in cafés and public places. It’s a true ‘bitch’ that would get offended by a polite stranger (irrespective of gender) making casual conversation. You have time to feel out her personality and by the time you start flirting, she is more likely to just be flattered or laugh off your advances, rather than being offended. If you still feel creepy, you might be thinking of it too much as an ‘approach’. It’s just friendly conversation. Start more friendly conversations with random people and notice the difference in how you behave.