Reply To: Step 3 Proficiency
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Those negative voices are actually a good sign. How is that possible? Those negative voices means that you are stepping outside of your comfort zone. Just like when you get nervous or get feelings of anxiety, it means that your body is trying to deal with the situation, kind of like how your muscles are sore after a workout. Your brain is trying to process those feelings and that information.
When you get those thoughts, you don’t need to do anything with them but acknowledge them. You can’t get rid of those thoughts. You can’t make yourself stop thinking those thoughts. But when the thoughts come, you can notice them. It’s as if you were standing on a bridge across a river. You’re looking at the river noticing things floating by. Just like you might say to yourself, “Oh, there’s a leaf. There’s a branch. There’s a piece of garbage,” you would say to yourself, “Oh, there’s a negative feeling. There’s a negative thought. I also feel good.” etc.
By acknowledging the thought and recognizing the thought it prevents you from going into a negative downward spiral. If you don’t recognize that you are feeling bad, you are liable to try to search for REASONS why you feel bad and attribute it to the wrong things. You may think you did the wrong thing. Or chastise yourself even more for what you did. If you don’t recognize those negative thoughts, you are more likely to BELIEVE those thoughts as true. That thought, “I’m a shitty person” all of a sudden becomes true to you and you feel even worse. Instead, if you acknowledge that thought, “Oh wow, I just called myself a shitty person. Interesting,” then you are less likely to accept that thought as true.
Don’t punish the negative thoughts. Don’t ignore them. Listen to what they’re saying and then move on. Keep doing what you did. Use positive affirmations if you want in order to put more positive thoughts in your head. They won’t get rid of the negative thoughts but they’re not supposed to. Positive affirmations are there as a guide to let you know you don’t need to believe the negative thoughts.