Reply To: SSSA useful for night-game?
You will certainly have a lot less anxiety than if you weren’t going out and practicing this during the day. But I find that if I’m doing no night/bar game for a long time and suddenly get thrown into that environment, it can take a bit of adjusting. Bar game can have a very different, typically higher energy than day game. Women tend to respond to men a bit differently. They EXPECT guys to come up and hit on them, so they tend to respond a bit different. It’s not necessarily easier or harder, just different. Many times being unexpected can work in your favor, like in day game. Other times, night game is easier because you don’t have to get them into a social mode before telling stories, etc.
If you want to get better at night game, my advice is to start frequenting bars more. The first and most important step is to get comfortable in that environment. I actually wrote about this in my newsletter. Here is the rest of the info:
In my program, She’s Six Steps Away, I tend to focus more on meeting women during the day. I prefer daytime for a few reasons, particularly for guys starting out.
– The environment is less frenetic.
– You’re more likely to find women who are alone.
– It’s easier to go out alone on a daily basis to daytime locations.
However, there are plenty of good reasons to go to bars and more social environments to meet women. Particularly if you live in more rural areas, it may be hard to find suitable women elsewhere.
The Six Step Method still works exactly the same in bars. Keep reading to find out the easiest way to apply the Six Step Method to bars.
First, you want to get out to these locations. This involves scouting which bars will be the best for you to meet women, as well as getting comfortable simply going to these locations.
One of the biggest inhibitors to actually starting out in this game is going out to these locations regularly.
The tendency is to think to yourself that you need to talk to women and be successful the very first time you go out.
Sure, you want to meet women. And that’s the ultimate goal.
But one of the biggest problems is having expectations that are too high and most likely, unattainable at first.
You end up putting too much pressure on yourself as you try to do too much at once. Instead, for the first step, you will simply go out to some bars and check them out. More often than not, if you are going out as an exercise, you will be doing this at least 4 times a week, ideally every day. That means you will be going out often without a wing or friend there with you. So you need to get comfortable going out alone.
First, find some bars near you that you think may have potential. Make a list of them. Map out a route where you’ll be walking or driving between bars. Once you have your list, you’ll head out.
This is where the negative thoughts start to come in.
What if they see me alone?
I’ll feel awkward going alone.
I don’t want to drink in every place.
What if there are no approachable women there when I walk in?
In order to deal with these thoughts, I like to have a simple cover story for when I walk through the front door: I’m there meeting a friend who hasn’t arrived yet.
So here’s what I do. I walk through the front door, showing my ID to the bouncer if asked. And I take a walk around the entire place. I pretend I’m looking for “my friend” who I’m meeting there. In actuality, I’m scanning the place for available women to talk with. I may stop at some point and pull out my phone to see “my friend” texted me. And I just hang out and chill for a minute. If there’s something on the television at the bar, I may watch it. If people are playing a bar game, I may watch for a few minutes. And then, if there are no women in the place worth meeting, I head back out the door to the next bar. If it makes you feel better, you can pretend you got a call and needed to step outside.
And then you just leave. And you go on to the next place.
There, it’s the same thing. Take a walk around the bar as if you’re meeting a friend.
Wash, rinse, repeat, until you find a bar where there are women worth speaking with.
When you do find a bar where there are women, you move on to Step 2 of the Six Step Method: Positioning. You’ll find a reason to position yourself next to an attractive woman in the bar. This could mean simply sitting in a open chair next to a woman at the bar. Or it could mean standing in the vicinity of some women at the bar.
If it makes you feel more comfortable, while you’re standing next to these women, you can pull out your phone for a moment as if you’re checking something. Or find some other reason to be in their vicinity, like watching the television in the bar.
From there, almost all the other steps in the Six Step Method are identical. Most of the openers in the book can be used in the bar. For example, you can ask if they know what time the place closes, etc. This is how you set your foundation for opening conversations with women. You’re getting comfortable with each step of the process before moving on to the next, while keeping your expectations in check.