Reply To: Should I be worried?

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Eric Disco

Man…is there ever a point in a relationship where you can lay off the tactics?

Yes. But certainly not when she’s not focused on you. You don’t need ‘tactics’ for most of the relationship. At the beginning are when things are most crucial. And then every once in a while you have to show her that you’re still independent, in control and have boundaries.

She said she’s not used to PDA before I started the kisses and maybe that’s why.

I don’t buy it. If she’s physically stand-offish, there’s a reason. Yeah, I’m not too fond of PDA. I’m not the type to be all over a girl in front of my friends. But I am physical with her. And not being willing to give you a kiss when saying goodbye… dude, you’re deluding yourself if you think that that is not a red flag. It’s a huge red flag.

For the next few months we won’t be seeing each other everyday as we used to and I’m wondering if that combined with these tactics won’t just push her towards someone else?

You’re worried you’re going to lose her. That’s making you overly needy around her. She senses that and that’s why she’s pulling away. These tactics are designed to demonstrate to her that you are okay with losing her. You’d rather be alone than get treated badly. If she’s going to walk, let her walk. You being more needy will not make her feel more for you. It will only delay the inevitable, which is her leaving you. The only way to get this girl back is to show her you’re fine on your own. Let her come to you.