Reply To: Rollercoaster

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Here is what you did right: every time she expressed some doubts, you pulled away. Every guy on here with a girl who is not giving him 100% should think about the lessons learned from this story.

Here is what you did wrong: you took her back too quickly and you put up with her seeing both you and the ex. As soon as you found out about the ex coming back into her life, you should have pulled back. In her last attempt, when she suggested that you get back together, you accepted too quickly and you made it seem like the entire decision is up to her.

Here is what you should do: keep it casual for a while. Don’t ask her about the other guy. Make sure she knows that you’re also dating. Make her work for your time. Don’t be available “most days of the week”. See her less frequently. In other words, don’t let her back into your life until you change her perception of who’s making the big decisions about your relationship with her.