Reply To: Relationship lull

[Eric Disco]

If this girl has all the outward signs of being into you–taking initiative to hang out with you, to contact you, if she is touching you a lot while you’re hanging out and acting like she’s really into you, then it’s possible the problem could be with her libido. It’s possible her birth control pill is causing her libido to dip or she’s having some other kind of physical issue. I typically do not bring up this option because it’s not usually a physical problem with the girl. It’s very easy to write it off as that. But if she truly is into you as much as you’re saying she is, then you may want to find out if something is wrong with her.

It’s also possible she’s bored of sex with you or is cheating on you with someone else. It’s possible you really have gotten too comfortable with her in that maybe she doesn’t see you as alpha at all. You coddle her and care for her needs too closely.

You know, whatever it is, it almost doesn’t matter. You need to ask yourself if you want to continue the way you are in a relationship with a girl who doesn’t want to have sex with you. That’s a huge problem. I would pull back regardless. And the fact that you feel that pulling back at all is too ‘severe’ says to me maybe you’re over-invested in this and are over-estimating her investment in it. Perhaps her eye is wandering. Just because she’s insecure and talks about being afraid you’ll break up with her, doesn’t mean that she hasn’t lost attraction for you. Some girls can be very, very good at making a guy think she is super into them when in reality she’s just insecure.

Eric