Reply To: Being more flirty

[Introverted Playboy]

Lee is right in that a direct opener is not a real conversation starter. It’s really just a way to (a) get her attention and make clear “I’m talking to you now”, and (b) to make it clear that you’re sexually interested (and this is important if you have trouble generating sexual energy otherwise–HOWEVER, just using a direct opener only for the sake of conveying sexuality is a crutch that you must ultimately get rid of), and (c) it shows confidence and balls.

Whether direct or indirect, I’m for whatever works for the individual (and I think Lee and I have debated this in the past, and the overall importance of words vs. action in general). Success depends on a lot of factors–your personality, your looks, fashion, conversation skills, willingness to play the numbers game, etc.

Let me ask you this Tay. You’ve gotten over the approach anxiety, but the issue is basically starting a conversation, right? Question: How often do you talk to strangers in general in your daily life? I’ve found that guys who have trouble having conversations with strange women usually have trouble having conversations with strangers, period.

Otherwise, I suggest observe everything around you and especially the girl–compliment her on something she’s wearing, ask what’s happening in her day (does she look like she’s in a rush? strolling leisurely? going to work? going to the beach?), share what’s happening in your day/ your life, what’s on your mind, some interesting story, an observation or remark on something that’s happening in the environment, etc. Mix questions and statements–not too much of either.

Lee’s topics are good to come up with some material to have in your back pocket in case you go blank.

But I am an advocate of spontaneity and being in the moment, while having an overall structure for leading things forward–I think that should be your eventual goal.

Check out the daygame.com infield videos on Youtube because they do direct game street stops exactly like what you’re doing, and they have some pretty good material on transitioning and conversation. (pay attention to their body language and nonverbals too infield because that’s very important)