Reply To: Being more flirty

[The_Hurricane]

Sorry, dude, I don’t teach direct game and if you’re set on sticking with it, there are much better coaches to ask about what to do next. The reason I don’t teach direct game is that it leaves you no closer to the objective, which is starting a conversation. Telling her she’s cute does not start a conversation. In that sense, it’s not an opener at all. It’s a compliment.

To me, an opener is something open ended, something that gives her runway to tell you something to which you can respond by telling her something. If you’re a cute kid, just telling her she’s cute may be enough, but that’s not because it’s game. It’s because she’s already attracted to you and any excuse to chat is good enough. For the rest of us – for ordinary men – telling her she’s cute buys you very little and you then have to start from scratch to generate some attraction.

There is another issue here and that is the issue of interest. The pickup community is split on whether she should be sure of your interest or she should have doubts about your interest. Myself and coaches like Mystery firmly believe that she should have doubts about your interest, which is very tough to do after you’ve opened direct.

In a more general sense, there are really four main topics that are fertile ground for conversation when you meet someone: 1) What you do or what you’re passionate about 2) Where you came from and how you got here 3) Parents and childhood 4) Relationships and sex. If both of you have talked a bit about each, you’re done. You can go home.

So whatever you do after your opener, it is meant to get you back to topic 1. My opener gets me to topic 1 directly. Meaning, my opener ends with us talking about topic 1. Because you’re opening direct, there is no obvious way back to topic 1, but that is where you will have to take it using your situational banter. In other words, you will have to wing it until you get back to topic 1.

When you’re back at topic 1 – whatever topic you want to hit first – you are firmly in control. You have your stories. Those stories include negs and qualifications that tease and challenge her and those stories are liberally sprinkled with inappropriate references to intimacy and sex.

I don’t know you, so I can’t tell you what your story should be. That would take a couple of hours of creative brainstorming. But what I described above is a loose outline for systematizing your approach and making your conversations less ordinary.

–Lee