Reply To: Being more flirty

[The_Hurricane]

Here are the problems I see with the advice to be more natural, more present, and more flirty. It’s a bit like telling people to be more confident. You can’t will yourself to be more confident. Confidence comes from experiencing success. So the best way to get more confident is to experience some success, success based on competence, not confidence. You can increase your competence without increasing your confidence simply by practicing a routine that you can perfect. In my experience, the same is true of being more natural, flirty, and present. None of these things are possible unless you know exactly what you’re going to say. Paradoxically, when you’ve stopped worrying about what you’re going to say, your mind stops racing at 100 miles per hour and you stop drifting away to thoughts of what you should do and how important this all is. That’s when you can be more present, more natural, and more flirty.

–Lee