Reply To: Accountability on doing the 6 steps

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#74511
baresa
Participant

>You obviously have very strong approach anxiety, I believe you. You mentioned before though that you did a bootcamp and were able to approach with a coach pushing you. So you can do it with the right help. Maybe it would help you to find a buddy who is also working on this?

I agree. To a certain extent. I realized that most social people rarely go out to parties, gatherings, festivals, concerts all by themselves. They typically go with a friend or they know that some of the guests arriving are people they know. I guess I am just like them. It takes STEEL BALLS also for extroverted, social people to step into a crowd in a foreign unknown place WITHOUT a phone used as a social escape. I always notice social people together in packs. Take the most social high school girl and tell her to go to a city 200 km away to attend a party with none of her friends. I’ll bet that most will refuse. They will feel “naked”. If I would go out with a buddy I would most likely massively increase my confidence to say something – just like a pro coach. But I fear when the buddy is gone I will be like the extroverted social high school girl: I will not approach anymore.

>Another thing: You mentioned you don’t really have female friends you can talk to. Do you have women in your life in general?

Not really.

>Perhaps it might help you to simply interact with women more. You could do hobbies or volunteering or something that gets you around women. Not to get dates, but just to have more interactions with them and make some more female friends.

This goes along with my first paragraph. This is the highway to getting a girlfriend – this is what 95% of all men do. Hobbies/volunteering will get me in a comfortable state where I can socialize and talk to girls. But I believe it will not condition me to do approaches all by myself in a foreign city. I realize I have the deepest respect for those guys who can approach girls on the street all by themselves. 95% of all guys would rather go to a war zone than cold approaching a girl.

I do realize that any female social interaction will benefit me in some way.