Reply To: Accountability on doing the 6 steps
I’ll give you my opinion but I don’t know if I’m the right person to answer this. Maybe Eric will chime in and, and he’s probably had experience with guys in your position.
I think relying on getting and giving looks is a bad strategy. Women get creeped out by guys looking at them a lot (even if it’s a good looking guy).
So by doing this thing of looking at women, you’re perhaps just setting yourself up to get reactions that will make you feel worse.
Plus, as you noticed, they often won’t notice you so you’re making things difficult for yourself.
I think you might be just procrastinating doing step 3 a little. You ultimately have to confront the fear of opening your mouth and saying something.
(And if you think that looking at someone is sexual intent, then why not just show sexual intent in a more friendly, open way?)
You need to be brave. Go say something to people. Pick some openers and practice saying them at home. Get next to people and say something immediately without hesitating. Just tell yourself you will confront the fear and accept whatever feelings come after.
I promise you, all you need to do is do it ONCE and after that everything will get easier.