Reply To: Accountability on doing the 6 steps

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#74452
SomeguyUK
Participant

Yes, I think you’re right. You need to be able to practice step 3 one way or another. If you can find a way that works for you, do it.

> If I would pick a sexy female clerk I would reveal that I’m full of lust and desire for her – even though I just need some carrots. And this shame is still there somehow.

This is clearly a limiting belief you have. It’s obviously not true that your actions would reveal your feelings. Sure, women can sometimes pick up on attraction – but they aren’t mind readers!

Your actions are what matters. As long as you’re not saying or doing anything inappropriate, you’re not doing anything wrong and it doesn’t matter what she thinks. So try to confront those fears when you’re ready.

For me, it helps to think of these exercises as ‘faking it until you make it’.

When we do these exercises we are discovering what it feels like to be a confident, outgoing person. Over time, what is initially ‘faking it’ becomes real. It works.

So perhaps try to create a ‘character’ for yourself. Someone who is bold, confident, and sexually at ease.

You might want to read ‘The alter ego effect’ by Todd Herman. He is a coach who helps people use alter egos. In the book he talks about how Beyonce famously created an alter ego for herself. She needed to be sexy on stage – but due to her gospel background, she wasn’t comfortable being sexy. Beyonce’s alter ego helped her overcome that fear and eventually she integrated Sasha Fierce into her personality.

  • This reply was modified 5 months, 2 weeks ago by SomeguyUK.