Reply To: Accountability on doing the 6 steps

Home page Forums Approach Forum Accountability on doing the 6 steps Reply To: Accountability on doing the 6 steps

#74451
baresa
Participant

Step 2: Day 14

Today I approached 10 girls. Nothing spectacular. I also dry approach hot girls with their dads now – I just don’t care if he’s around. However I regret approaching one girl who was sitting on a stool in a 7-11 with 2 empty stools next to her. I saw her and decided to move in but somehow the crowd and logistics made it difficult (very tight space and I would have to physically move one stool to arrange myself next to her). So I “stared” at her from a distance and tried to make up my mind and truly realized that you have to move in fast at all times – otherwise I start feeling as a stalker. It’s waaay more natural to move in fast. When I came home I regretted it and if I had the chance I would do it differently.

A few observations:

1. I realize I have one big resistance and that is a group of girls (the more the worse). For some reason I think a group of girls can make fun of me and this perhaps dates back to some childhood experiences. Also I don’t like to be in the center of attention of many girls – it’s easier to just handle one girl at a time.

2. Considering that step 3 is ahead of me: When shopping in the past I always picked a male clerk to find some stuff I could not find. If I would pick a sexy female clerk I would reveal that I’m full of lust and desire for her – even though I just need some carrots. And this shame is still there somehow. I also noted when asking clerks for some stuff I would walk up while they were unpacking some boxes or whatever and wait for them to realize that I’m standing there and need help. I always failed at showing power by asking without hesitation that I need something – of course politely. This is of course also a limitation that stems from primary school: you are only allowed to talk and ask when you are given permission. But the few times I asked a sexy clerk for some stuff I never felt comfortable walking with her to the shelf where the stuff is – I never felt relaxed – could not make proper eye contact etc. I know clerks are paid to be friendly and give customer service unlike girls on the street but I think I need to get this one under my skin. I feel like an ass asking a girl for directions on the street but asking a clerk for some exotic food makes MUCH more sense to my mind: Instead of searching for the exotic food myself I just blindly find the cutest clerk and ask her instead – my mind shows less restriction with that solution since its more authentic and honest. What do you think? My conclusion is: If I cannot ask a sexy clerk (who is paid to be nice) for some exotic food and feel totally relaxed about it, I can never approach in the street like Eric discusses in step 3.