Reply To: Accountability on doing the 6 steps

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#74438
baresa
Participant

#74436 needs to be deleted. It was an error and I could not make adjustments in time.

SomeguyUK:
Thanks for your support, it helps a lot 😀

Question – have you had moments in your life before where you’ve randomly asked women for directions/information, without thinking about pickup stuff? If you’ve done it before and it wasn’t a big deal for you, maybe try to think of this in the same way. You’re not trying to ‘pick anyone up’ yet – just getting used to opening your mouth. Asking strangers for help is a normal thing to do.

If it’s too much for you to open a women, maybe take even smaller steps to get there. Ask a guy for directions (again, you’re just getting warmed up). Ask some old women that you’re not attracted to. Then move on to the more attractive girls.

1. It’s no problem to ask girls for something but my main problem is, it has to be genuine. I cannot lie to myself – I’m too honest. I almost cringe inside if I have to ask for directions or the time. So if I go to a grocery store and need some stuff that I cannot find, I will actively seek out the hottest female (before I would pick a man) employee and ask for the stuff. This works because I literally cannot find the food I’m looking for. If I know where the chocolate is and I search for a girl who can give me the directions to chocolate my brain shuts down – I cannot fake it. It would be the same if it’s an old, unattractive store clerk.

2. I’m not in a pickup state. I’m quite numbed actually. I see this exercise/journey as a way to only talk to girls and make them happy. I’m not in a state where I aggressively need number closes and sex. I’m in a state where my goal is to have an innocent conversation and ramble on with some shit and make her feel comfortable about being approached by a stranger. Of course, in my mind I would always focus on slipping in a compliment and try to establish an emotional connection.

One thing I might suggest is to talk to your female friends about being approached. You’ll probably find that what really creeps them out is seriously weird or aggressive behaviour – the kind of stuff you’re not planning to do. They’re used to guys trying to hit on them, and when it doesn’t go well, they generally just go about their day. (And if you don’t have female friends, don’t worry. You’ll make some doing this!

I don’t have female friends I can talk to about these issues. I know the creep things are ridiculous but years of imprinting from parents, family and movies have done their share. I clearly remember when doing the boot camp and the coaches asked us to approach 20 year old girls. I felt an enormous resistance due to my social conditioning (even recently in local media where it’s frowned upon when an older man has a younger gf) but I was so positively shocked when those girls were open and happy to my advances. I remember when discussing it with my fellow boot camp students: we were all blown away. I just get suicidal when thinking my only option is a cougar with 2 kids from a broken marriage: but society only accepts this solution for a guy like me. I fully admit I’m conditioned by media and society and it would be healthy to hang out in an environment populated with guys who don’t accept this.