Reply To: Accountability on doing the 6 steps
> Common standard dating advice:
Often, the standard advice to men is to socialize by joining a club frequented by women. Or get some hobbies where there is a lot of women: Dancing, yoga, volunteering etc. A large number of men in society ARE surrounded by women all day long, they have had many girlfriends through their social circle, they have been hanging out with girls since high school, they know how to talk to girls and make them feel comfortable and make them laugh and have a good time. They have basically a rich social life with a number of girls to pick from. They have the life we all dream about. But I’ll bet: Take that social man and put him on the street in a city he does not know and ask him to cold approach a sexy girl and it’s very likely he will not be able to do it.
Yep. I have a couple of guy friends who naturally do really well with women (to the point where I have been kinda jealous of them sometimes). But those guys can’t do cold approaches.
I think the advice to do hobbies etc to meet women isn’t right for everyone. You can be in a yoga club with the hottest women every day. But if you don’t feel reasonably relaxed and confident talking to women, it won’t help much.
>After maybe 50 dry approaches I learned that I’m relatively cool about it. However, the hotter/sexier she looks or the younger she looks the more creepy I still feel and therefore I have more resistance.
Well done on doing your approaches so far. You’re putting the work in.
Question – have you had moments in your life before where you’ve randomly asked women for directions/information, without thinking about pickup stuff? If you’ve done it before and it wasn’t a big deal for you, maybe try to think of this in the same way. You’re not trying to ‘pick anyone up’ yet – just getting used to opening your mouth. Asking strangers for help is a normal thing to do.
If it’s too much for you to open a women, maybe take even smaller steps to get there. Ask a guy for directions (again, you’re just getting warmed up). Ask some old women that you’re not attracted to. Then move on to the more attractive girls.
> Anyhow, I learned something extremely valuable doing step 2:
When I decide that I have to commute to town to practice step 2 I feel some resistance or inhibition, like: Oh, now I have to meet girls and be the creepy guy
Dude, don’t call yourself creepy, even as a joke. This is clearly a hurdle for you and you should try and be kind and compassionate to yourself 🙂
One thing I might suggest is to talk to your female friends about being approached. You’ll probably find that what really creeps them out is seriously weird or aggressive behaviour – the kind of stuff you’re not planning to do. They’re used to guys trying to hit on them, and when it doesn’t go well, they generally just go about their day. (And if you don’t have female friends, don’t worry. You’ll make some doing this!)
- This reply was modified 2 months ago by SomeguyUK.