Reply To: She is 6 steps away: 2nd step

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#74419
baresa
Participant

Thanks for all your replies.

Let’s dig a bit deeper.

When we grow up as children, teenagers, adults we are socially conditioned to believe that we can only meet other people in accepted social settings such as parties, workplace, school, family gatherings etc. Never randomly in public. It’s all reinforced in media and television when watching a movie also. We never watched our dad or mom approach strangers on the street and suddenly they would be eating dinner with us a few weeks later. But we watched dad or mom bring home work mates for dinner or maybe other moms/dads from school because we as kids were playing together. Or maybe we had a street party with all the other families – this is how society wants us to socialize.

It’s not illegal to approach a stranger and it’s not illegal to sit next to a stranger on a bench and say nothing – yet nobody does it.

What about this example: You go into a crowded cafe and only 2 seats are left: 1 seat next to a hot girl and 1 seat far away from the hot girl. Now you can safely pick the seat next to the hot girl – it’s universally accepted and not creepy. Now imagine that ALL people except you and the hot girl leave the cafe at the same time and everything becomes empty. For some reason now it’s accepted that you sit close and don’t talk, right? If people look through the window into the cafe they will see 2 people sitting rather close. But they don’t know why the situation ended up like this. Will they think he is a creep?

Reverse: How would I feel if I was sitting in the back of a bus totally alone and then a person (man or woman) chooses to sit close to me? I would not find it creepy, rather amusing maybe. Provided the person is “normal” and does not have a creepy vibe – whatever that is :-). But what is a normal person? A girl would freak out if a smelly homeless man would sit next to her and say nothing. Maybe she would be flattered if a business man in a suit would sit next to her and say nothing. Is it all about outer appearance??

Somehow I believe that everyone wants to have great relationships, both men and women, and also just as platonic friendships and if that great friend comes out of the blue in a public setting it would be welcomed. We all know that most people are acquainted with maybe 50 people in their lives and keep hovering around these people without letting new people in – yet everyone knows deep down that it’s a mental limitation since there are 8 billion people in the World.

This is why I keep asking myself if we all have limiting beliefs in terms of meeting other people – but everyone would wish they (the beliefs) were not there in the first place. Yet, if this limiting belief is buried in our subconscious mind nothing will happen.

I wonder if we all carry that limiting belief (creepyness, weirdness sitting next to girls) but the receiving person views it differently and way more positively than we believe in our minds?