Reply To: Date/lay ratio, daygame
Eric, thank you for reply!
I live in Moscow, I’m 27 and girls are about 25–32.
I will try to comment on perspective of my situation with dates and to answer at your question.
I would like to mention and to split your question in two chapters: my sexuality and our rapport with girls.
And your questions “How sexual do you get with these women? How quickly do you get sexual?”
Here is my photo, I’m 24 here: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My growth is 180 centimeters, but my weight is 63 kilogram (154 pounds), so I have slim build.
Also there is one point with my teeth: one tooth in the front had grew up a bit inside in the mounth, and at front of my face it looks like gap between teeth with this tooth behind gab. Well, this is rather similar: screencast.com/t/lYHpR9dsSOe
So, all this is not sexual in physical meaning.
Spending time with girls for me is more important to discuss with her interesting topics, doing something together (walk through the streets, eat in restaraunts, ride a bicycle etc.). And the next step, after we have some rapport, is sex. I mean I don’t desire girls passionately in common way. I need emotional intimacy with her more.
Here is my vision of rapport.
There are some regular points in our communication with girls, that may push girls away. For example:
Question about age. I never ask girls about their age and don’t tell them my age. Because I often was in situation when it was evaluation question (in not good meaning), like sketchy judgmental screening, especialy if she asks it at the very beginnig of communication. They see me, speak with me, I think it’s enough. I decided don’t tell about it at all. Rather often girls says to me that it’s strange.
I don’t use social media. I don’t have page Facebook, Instagram. Girls often says me that it’s also strange, and how it’s possible in 21 century, how you are in touch with friends and so one… And it’s very hard for me to find a common language with students, for example.
I call girls by phone, I use text messages very rarely. I don’t like writinng messages and this type of communication at all. I always try to talk using my voice, not text. Girls also says me regular that it’s strange, “all my friends write me, doesn’t call, it’s so rarely now” and so one. Even at Youtube among daygamers video I found only one or just several videos about phone game, rest of all are about texting.
I can continue this list, and the common idea is that from my point of view, all similar point often pushes girls away (not all girls, but many in my opinion). And it doesn’t help me to sleep with them, and also I don’t want to change these my habits and convictions.
And your questions:
> How much do you connect with them? How much do you know about them when you leave? How much do they know about you? Do you leave them wanting more at the end? Do you qualify them?
I think it’s variate. Sometimes we speak more about me, sometimes about her (depend of girl and topics at date), we have small talks and serious talks too. Sometimes I don’t tell much about myself becase of “strange” points above. For example else I have not good realtionships with my parents and I try to evade direct answer about parents.
If you need any clarify here, please, tell me, I will do it. Maybe I answered in very common way and you need details.
In the same time, despite all the facts above:
I got WhatsApp message after first date recently: ” Thanks for meeting. I had a great time”.
They sleep with me. Sometimes. )
One girl offered to pay for us at the cafe at our first date (I think it’s super uncommon for Russia), than we kissed going-away, at second date at the end she says, that we can go together in her house, if I want it.
I can continue this list too, but positive reactions are so rare (maybe it’s the ones 5–7% of all first dates which I talked in the first post about).
And my general questions is: what do you think about points above? Can they (my slim body, not very good compatibility with some girls and so one) leads to 5–7% date/lay ratio?
I want to know more about this topic because knowledge realistics expectation soothing me actually, and it can be very actual when I will work towards my next lay, kiss o emotional itimacy from stack of first dates.