Reply To: Compliment Opener

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Eric Disco

When you compliment someone on something without revealing your sexual interest, e.g. “I like your boots”, I refer to that as a friendly compliment. Basically it’s the type of compliment you could say to a friend. When you go beyond that and reveal your attraction, e.g. “I think you’re cute”, I call that an attraction compliment because you are revealing your attraction.

If you start off with a friendly compliment, I would recommend building onto that with small talk, like you stated above. “Where did you get those boots? I was looking for a pair of boots like that for my sister. Aren’t they made in Italy? What were you doing in Italy?” etc. You could even try something simple like, “I like that watch. I bet there’s a story behind that.”

I generally don’t recommend going straight into a ‘direct’ attraction compliment after giving her a friendly compliment. That might just be too many compliments in a row. You’re giving her too much validation and giving away all of your power. You can come across as too try-hard.

If you’re going to do direct compliments here’s what I recommend

1. Give a few women friendly compliments on the opening. After doing that a few times, move on to…
2. Give a few women an attraction compliment. Without staying and talking with her, just leave right after the compliment and say, “Have a great day.”
3. Then practice staying in longer. Introduce yourself after giving the compliment and walk away. Then introduce yourself and ask her what she does, etc.

One of my students has been using my method to step up to direct compliments. He’ll do something like this:

1. Ask a few women for directions. After doing that a few times, move on to…
2. Ask for directions, then say, “Actually, I wanted to ask you because I thought you were cute.” After doing that a few times, move on to…
3. Ask for directions, then say, “Actually, I don’t need directions. I just wanted to come talk to you because you’re cute.”