Reply To: Staying In The Interaction
Really good feedback – this seems all perfectly on point. Couple final follow up questions for ya:
1) Since I am on step 4 and not 5, do you recommend I integrate and use the ‘deeper scripts’ you just posted today or keep it light and fluffy with my small talk scripts for now and then move to them later?
2) How do I know when I’ve mastered step 4? The book says I’m proficient when I regularly get into ‘continuing conversation’ but in your feedback above you mentioned that almost 80-90% of conversation won’t hook. What indicator of success do you use when you’re working with such a high margin for failure?
3) I’m just curious as to why someone sitting has such a high success rate than someone walking? I understand that the one walking are in the middle of going somewhere, but I feel like their impetus to leave the interaction is the same in both scenarios. If they are sitting down they might be thinking, “Who is this guy and when is he going to leave? I’m a captivate audience – I just want to sit here and enjoy my book in peace.” where as a woman who is hiking along a trail thinks more or less the same thing, “Who is this guy and why is he asking me questions? I just want to continue with my hike.” Like, why is one a high rate of success and the other is not when both seem as equally prone to the same qualifiers and disqualifies despite logistical momentums? If there are approach situations that are better than others, can they be listed in order of rate of success? This seems like it could be an extremely helpful tool.
4) You mentioned sitting down with women at a park or cafe. How do you do this? In the book you talk about asking to sit down after using a direct approach. However, asking for directions and then asking to sit down seems like counter actions. I’m curious how you sit down when going indirect; do you just plop down and then ask for directions?
Thanks for all the answers Eric, you’re helping take the mystery out of one of the most confusing, difficult, yet rewarding things I’ve ever set out to do in my life and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. 🙂