Reply To: Staying In The Interaction

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Eric Disco

Your success rate will depend on the type of interaction. If you stop someone walking in the opposite direction on a path in the woods, your success rate may be around 10 percent. If you sit next to someone in a park and talk to them, your success rate will usually be a lot higher.

Your initial questions and statements listed above are fine. They are shallow and that’s how they should be. “What’s something good to bring to a dinner party?” “I was out looking for a book.” But then transition into something deep and meaningful as fast as possible. If she is attracted to you, she’ll try to go there with you.

The objective of this step is to get a conversation going without asking her to reveal personal information about herself (what she does, where she lives, etc). It’s not as hard as you may think. Asking her what she does for a living isn’t really a conversation. Those are just questions. A conversation is something that makes her think or search her feelings.

Think about two things here:

1) Statements that will lead to deeper conversation
2) Statements that will reveal deeper things about yourself

You could use something like this as a template.

“I recently read an article/study/book that said people spend 15 percent of their lives thinking about things they’ll never do. I started thinking if I had all that time back, what would I do. I decided I would live in every city in the world for six months. What would you do?”

Another one

“I was just out getting a book on philosophy. Do you like philosophy? Me and my friends have dinner parties where we discuss philosophy. At the last one we talked about regret. I decided that the only thing I really regret is not living in the moment. What do you regret?”

Coming up with some of these might require some exploration. Think about deeper conversations you have with your friends. Read some philosophy or psychology book. What questions about life interest you? Have you seen any movies lately that blew your mind?

Focus on bringing value rather than trying to get value. Instead of asking her what book she read recently, talk about a book that you read or movie you watched and what was interesting about it. Try to pick something open-ended where there is no clear answer. Try to really listen to what women say and remember what they say, because they often provide excellent subject matter to discuss in your next interactions.