Reply To: Need some advice between dates

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Eric Disco

> Love your work Eric!


> she says she still busy, which is definitely a legit excuse as she has some work related things to take care of.

When a girl says she is busy or indicates that she can’t hang out, it doesn’t matter whether the reason is legitimate or not. It doesn’t matter if she can’t hang out with you because she’s too busy with work or because she is losing interest in you. It’s not your job to figure out how she is feeling. Your job is to look at her actions and act accordingly.

If she is legitimately busy and can’t hang out but still likes you, you need to back off and give her space to do her thing. And if she is simply just losing interest, if there is any chance with her, your best bet is to back off also.

If a girl is really interested, she will make an effort to connect with you. Even if she’s super busy with work, she’ll find a way. She may try to call you on the phone. She may invite you there to see her. She may just text you a lot. If she doesn’t, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s not interested, it means that she isn’t interested ENOUGH to fit you into her life.

> Basically, I’m not sure how to play this moving forward?

I would text her a bit, then invite her to hang out. If she says she’s too busy, I would say, “Say hi when you’re less busy.” I would not keep texting her and talking with her if she could not hang out or would not at least plan a time to hang out.

> I’m not really sure how often to text her either. I know in the beginning, you should only text to set up the first date. But I feel obligated to do it more now so things don’t fizzle out while apart.

That’s not a good way to go about it. If you want things to keep from fizzling out, shoot her a text every week or so.

> Also, I’m tempted to set things up weeks in advance because of the distance, but is this too needy?

It’s not needy. Since she’s further away, you need to plan ahead of time. Planning a date for 2-3 weeks out is fine. In fact, if she said no to this, I would back off and stop texting her, or at least slow my texting down to once a week or so.