Reply To: Online First meet

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#73187
Eric Disco
Keymaster

> Why do you leave it to her to start personal talk on a date?

When you don’t seek rapport with her, it’s a huge sign of high value. Let me give you an example.

You walk in and see your online date sitting at the bar.

Scenario #1:

You: Wow, it looks like you’ve already started without me! You’re not drunk already, are you?

Her: Nope. Just started. But the drinks here are pretty good.

You: Well it looks like I have some catching up to do. If I get drunk, you won’t take advantage of me, will you?

Her: Can’t make any promises.

You: Alright. But I’m watching you. I see that look in your eye.

Her: So where do you work? <--- She is seeking rapport with me here. I started off with some banter and kept going with it until SHE asked ME a personal question. If I had asked her a personal question first, it would indicate that I'm trying to get to know her. That's a huge sign of interest from me as a guy. I'm TRYING to build a connection with her. It takes away all of the challenge for her. If it turned out the girl you were meeting was unattractive, how would you act? Would you dive in with all the get-to-know-you questions? Probably not. You just wouldn't give a fuck. You would play around, have fun. And not really try with this girl. Typically, the hotter the girl, the quicker guys dive into get-to-know-you (rapport-seeking) questions. The guy is trying to build a connection with her and she can sense his neediness. Another option besides banter and/or rapport-seeking is to talk about yourself. Have a story prepared. That is less likely to put pressure on her and make her feel like you are trying to build a connection. Avoiding seeking rapport can be really powerful. It's much easier and more necessary to do in night game and on a first date than it is to do during day game. If you do too much banter during day game, she might not take you seriously and she might just walk off. But even during daygame I recommend transitioning into personal conversation with a statement rather than a question, i.e. "You look like you workout." Eric