Reply To: Let's share
There are various things you could have done in both these situations. Asking for a girls number before you have talked to her is a bit lame, but it’s always better to do something than nothing. Personally, if I catch a girl looking at me, I like to walk over and say “if you’re gonna look at a boy like that, you should at least say hello”.
You should just start making small, incremental steps like Eric says to do in his book.Get the book if you don’t have it. The first step is to get next to her, so practice going over and standing next to girls you are attracted to. This feels a bit weird in a bar, but just see it as an exercise.
Similarly, every time you’re choosing where to sit on a bus, go and sit next to the pretty girl. You don’t have to talk to her yet, but just get used to putting yourself near her.
What I mean about sticking to your plan is that you have to be committed to your goal of beating approach anxiety. Working on approach anxiety is like going to the gym. Sometimes you really won’t feel like going. But if you keep putting the work in, the results will come.
You should go out three times a week, or more if you can. Try and set yourself goals like ‘I will stand next to 5 girls today’. Later it will become ‘I will talk to 5 girls today’. I had so many nights where I felt tired and wanted to go home, but I always forced myself to keep going. Now I can approach pretty much whenever I want 🙂 So it’s worth it.
And yeah, try not to beat yourself up when you pussy out. This is a really hard thing to work on. Just give yourself credit for the steps you do take and.