Reply To: When she says no / resists

[The_Hurricane]

I never get resistance. Never ever. My first dates are 45 minutes long, and most of my second dates start at my place, so the lack of resistance is unrelated to the length of time we’ve spent together or the velocity with which we are moving towards the bedroom.

Even so, most girls complain I’m not moving fast enough! One relatively recent date wrote to ask why I wouldn’t make out with her in my car on our second date. When I finally invited my last gf to my place for movie night – after previously spending a couple of hours with her – she enthusiastically told her friend, “Finally, I’m getting laid!”

Here is why I think I never get resistance.

Resistance is not the problem. It’s a side effect of women’s uncertainty about your value. When they are certain of your value, the flimsiest of excuses are enough to get them to sleep with you.

So while I get no resistance, I do lose girls in other parts of the process, mostly when I first meet them and push them way, way beyond their comfort zones. After jumping through all of those hoops, the invitation to my place is getting a virtually certain acceptance.

Here is my advice to those of you who are getting a lot of resistance. Instead of working on overcoming resistance, work on creating value. Lose them up front. It’s cheap. Go on dates only with girls who have the correct perception of you.

So ok, you’ve done all of this, and you still get resistance. What should you do? Get up, adjust your pants, and say “Ok. Enough wrestling practice. It’s getting late and I’m exhausted. Going home to get some sleep.” Don’t tell them you’re going to see them again. Don’t tell them it was fun. Nothing. Smile, give them a hug, and walk out. Be prepared for more compliance on your next date.

Why does this work? The most valuable thing you have is YOU. When she’s not giving you what you want, you have every right to take the YOU out of the picture. Is it punishment? No. It’s just you expressing your unhappiness about what’s going on. That’s not manipulation. It’s a legitimate expression of your feelings. Don’t debate, don’t discuss, don’t beg. Just take the YOU out of the picture. You have every right to express your unhappiness. Don’t pretend it doesn’t matter when, deep down, you know it does.

—Lee