Reply To: When she says no / resists

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There’s a saying in Chinese “ Cross the river by feeling the stones underneath “ …and I’d say it applies to this situation….

Kino-ing girls should be something you enjoy….& then it feels natural.…..not something that “has to be done “ in order to get the girl to have sex or physical intimacy….

Often I call it out eg,, “ oh, you don’t like being kissed on the neck..?….I have been in a few situations like that and after a few pull backs and restarts things tend to go to their natural level…which is not always sexual …..the key is to not get frustrated or come across as needy…..I keep smiling, keep playing, sometimes tell her she turns me on….etc ….it all depends on the vibe really, there is no set formula I follow here…..

A funny story related to this ….
About early Dec last year I approached a girl on the subway platform ( opener – why so serious /deep thoughts ) and we eventually ended up going on a date….The first date was a bit slow because she was not too comfortable with fast escalation and said so but she also made it clear she liked me….Cool

Second date I could tell she wanted to escalate a bit because she seemed to be into me , and sure enough, she started seriously kissing me and so on…but when I tried to escalate for something more intimate , I kept getting resistance, as in she would push my hand away or say, not now, its too soon…..blah blah blah..
Eventually I stopped, ordered a refill for my drink to create a break , and asked her what made her so uncomfortable about sexually escalating, consider her tongue was all the way down my throat….….her answer was classic …..” Oh, I really enjoy being with you….The thing is , I’ve already got someone I’m fucking , but we only do it once a month or so, and he just comes, fucks me and leaves……I was thinking that maybe we could date, go to movies and dinners and concerts together, and I could feel what a real relationship is, instead of just …you know…..having sex….”…….I stared at her for a moment….then cracked up laughing …….

That was the end of that date, I dropped her home and told her I was not the boyfriend candidate she was looking for….