Reply To: When she says no / resists

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One of the biggest problems with the “community” is this stuff about overcoming resistance. Yeah, sometimes women will give a playful rejection, or an indicator of “not right now” even though she may be up for it later, and it’s important to recognize that. As you and SG suggest, it’s fine to try again later.

But trying to force your way, or manipulate your way, through resistance gets into bad territory you don’t to be in. Look at it this way–if she doesn’t want to do something with you, and you force the issue enough so that in the end she DOES end up doing whatever, what do you think happened? In most cases, it’s probably not because you won her over–it’s probably because she was intimidated in some way. That’s why so many women read this “PUA” stuff and think we’re a bunch of evil misogynists. Most of us aren’t, but the idea of “how do I make a girl do what she doesn’t want to do” certainly goes against another aspect of “good” gaming, which is respect.

I agree with SG–the situation you want to be in isn’t overcoming “Last Minute Resistance”, as they call it–it’s not having it.

That said, there’s also a kind of resistance that’s flirtatious in nature–in which case you can use your own “push-pull’ tactics to help move things forward. There, too–don’t force the issue–taking away will probably ultimately move you forward, assuming she’s into it but just playing around.

But I really can’t stand the idea of “punishing” a girl for not sleeping with you–how’s that a basis for any kind of relationship–even a one-night-stand?

I think ultimately your goal is to facilitate an environment where she actually gives you the (subtle) indications that she’s up for it.