Reply To: Fear is almost gone

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First off–great to hear that the fear is going away! You’ll be fine from here on out.

Second of all–how are you asking for these phone numbers? I don’t approach that many girls, but on the occasions when I ask for phone numbers it usually goes ok. If they don’t give it out, it usually means, pretty clearly, that there wasn’t much of a connection.

Granted, a lot of these numbers did flake in the end (becuase I screwed up other things), but here’s why I think at least the number exchange worked:

1. I only took a number if I actually wanted to take a number–not just for practice. People can sense authenticity/inauthenticity pretty well..

2. I didn’t use much in the way of “PUA” tactics–I just asked for a number if I felt that I hit it off with someone—sometimes with a tentative plan to do something before-hand.

Fake numbers, I think, basically come from women who don’t take you at all seriously–maybe you in those instances you came across as too much of a player, or trying too hard, or they were a little put off by something. It’s kind of a “yeah, I can take it in stride but stay away” message.

Gentle brush offs suggest to me that you’re improving in your interactions with women–getting some more conversational investment, probably having friendly but not charged conversations with these girls (tell me if I’m wrong). You mentioned the jokes–one or two is fine, but quickly settle down and talk to the girl. Throw some flirting/touching in too–but I’d relax on the comedy.

A good number exchange will come naturally from a good conversational exchange–as somethign that just kind of makes sense.