Reply To: After second date.

[ryano]

I had all your thoughts when I was new to this. I think maybe you need to go through game only to realize that it has no effect on the women you’re meeting. It’s kind of like Dumbo’s feather in that he could fly regardless.

I think you’re right though in saying that it doesn’t help when I say “Just be yourself”. Of’course there are a few “social intelligence” type things that you need to overcome in order to get good.

But by and large the things I needed to get “good” was:
1. beating approach anxiety
2. beating sexual anxiety
3. understanding how to flirt
4. understanding how to escalate

Each of these took me a long time to fix. So I guess in a way maybe I can’t just say “be yourself” to someone who hasn’t had a great experience with these.

But let me also add that these things are what made me good at having alot of sex. In my earlier years I had long term relationships without knowing any of this. So it really depends on what your end goals are. Personally now I want to go back to having an LTR so those things aren’t even so important. I think the only thing that’s important though was beating appproach anxiety, because there’s no way I can go back to online dating after seeing the quility that I’ve gotten from daygame which is lightyears ahead.