Reply To: After second date.
Let me just say this, and fade back into oblivion..
Because this post is the epitome of what’s going on with this forum (and most other men’s forums on the internet for that matter). It’s like a broken record in here. I randomly poked my head in here and thought to myself “oh geez, here we go again”.
Your behavior reeks of low value. Just from your story I’ve already placed the girl about 100 points above you. Don’t get me wrong, you sound intelligent so I know you’re a good guy. But you’re just missing a few basic points in here. It’s just things that have massively helped me so I’m sure they can help you as well.
#1. Don’t do anything to “make” the girl like you. This is apparent from your post. You keep keeping score about when you called her, and what you did, what she did, how she replied. It’s like a chess game reading your post. And that’s just completely the wrong way to see this. Because when you act like that, you’ll inherently give off a “low value” vibe. People that play alot of games are usually the people that have the lowest self esteem. Be true to what you want and who you are, first and foremost. If this girl doesn’t fit the bill, NEXT her.
#2. Place yourself, your true identity and your needs above any one girl. Work on yourself. Your business, your finances, your health, your sociability, everything and everything. Be the next superstar. Be a millionaire. Be everything you always wanted to be and more. Raise your inherent value and girls will start flocking to you (provided of’course you ask them out as girls inherently don’t initiate). Also, have a strong sense of what you want from women and what behaviors you will and won’t accept. And make the girl know crystal clear if her behavior is bothering you.
More so than anything though, be your unique self. Nobody will EVER be like you in this world. So when you’re around this girl make sure every little eccentricity about yourself shines through. Say the things YOU want to say, not necessarily things that your friends or people, or people in this forum find “appropriate”. Things that make you happy. Embrace your uniqueness. That’s the opposite of making someone like you. Because when you try and make someone like you, you’re literally extinguishing any sense of self identity you have. Because EVERYONE tries to make others like them, so that’s a very common behavior and it’s just not attractive to women. So you get relegated in the “everyone else” category.
Another thing about being yourself, a true man is being sexual and doing things that amuse you and turn YOU on. So for example, if you’re with this girl and you’re not being sexual you’re really not being a man in her eyes. The woman is ALWAYS looking for the man’s lead. When you do things like trying to get her to like you, you’re casting her as the lead and women are REPULSED by this behavior.
#4. Forget about a girl taking initiative. In the courtship process, it’s just not in their nature. She’s not gonna call you all of a sudden to hang out (that only happens AFTER you have sex with her multiple times and you begin seeing eachother consistently). That means that you’re going to be doing all the work initially. read: all of it.
#5. Girls are random and their emotions fluctuate. You said “I thought it was funny but i never got any response.
I’m thinking i killed everything. Should i even try something in the future?”
This is thinking like a logical man, not thinking like a girl. Girl’s moods fluctuate. Hell, you could text her 3 hours later when she’s fingering herself alone in her room, and she’ll respond right away and forget everything that happened before. THERE ARE NO MISTAKES. As I said, never keep score. Girls don’t have a score. They’re like chickens running around the place jumping from emotion to emotion. They’re either available when you msg them or they’re not. That’s why persistence is key. But you don’t start thinking about what you did wrong or did right, or all that nonsense. EVERYTHING you do is always right. Remember that. The only thing you can do “wrong” though is second guess yourself like you did in this post.
Just do what you want to do. Be your unique self, and if inspite of all that, the girl is just not talking to you.That means she’s not attracted to you. And you move on.
As far as this particular girl is concerned, NO ONE knows. She might be giving you a blowjob in an hour. Your story basically means nothing except that you don’t understand the random nature of people and their bullshit. Just don’t keep score. If her behavior annoys you, say it straight to her face. Be 100% true to yourself. Girls mold, men lead. Just keep moving forward, date many girls (just as she’s dating many guys) eventually you’ll find a girl that you can’t get enough of, that sticks to you like glue. That accepts you and all your eccentricities and shortcomings. And that’s the one you want to be around anyways. Not these duds that aren’t making you feel good.