Reply To: Falling in love : a study
I think it’s the passive vs. active thing. Being someone’s “type” (i.e. same subculture, looking a certain part, etc.) works for the tick-box form of dating, which most people do. “Oh, that guy happens to be in the area–he’s looks like the type that I’m into…ok, maybe I’m attracted to him: he fits the criteria”
What we’re doing–ideally–kind of bypasses a lot of that and puts things in a whole different realm. I mean–it’s not all that common for a complete stranger to stroll up, chat up a girl in a way that actually establishes a connection. (not talking about bar hookups here) So if you manage to do that, you’ve moved from passive to active mode, and pretty much bypassed a lot of the issues of social conditioning/commonality/”type”.
I think commonalities can be useful–but they really come into play more further down the road–when things like “compatability” come into consideration.