Reply To: Awkward Social Dynamics Challenge #2 – The Cockblocker
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So here we go with my solution. This is a tough, tough challenge so there is no obvious or easy way out of this.
What’s the real problem? The pretty girl does not want the other girl to see her as a bad friend. If we could do all of this in private, I could express my interest in her and she could reciprocate. However, while she thinks the other girl is interested, she won’t exchange contact info with me. Even if I give her my contact info, she’ll later make a show of destroying the card because she wants to be a good friend to the other girl.
Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, I say:
“What time is it? A friend is supposed to meet me here, so I might have to split soon. In case I have to run out of here, this is for you…” Give card to the pretty girl. “And this is for you…” Give card to the other girl.
The card I give to the pretty girl is useless. If she thinks her friend likes me, she won’t contact me. So what’s the purpose of the cards? When I leave, it will stop the other girl from offering her contact info or asking for my contact info. If she does either of those, it’s an even bigger barrier for her friend to overcome, so I want to try to prevent that at all costs. Two cards mean I am still on neutral ground.
Next, I continue the conversation, bringing it back to subjects that I’m interested in, movies, art, literature, music, etc. The girls are talking about their favorites. At some point, I see an in.
Me: “Really? You like The Shawshank Redemption? It’s a great movie. There was an amazing article about it in Slate quite recently, I think. Did you see it?”
Her: “No. What did it say?”
Me: “It’s longish, but it basically talks about what makes that movie great. It’s a great analysis. You know what, give me back my card and write your email address on the back so I can send you a link. I think you’d appreciate it.”
If she never gives me a movie or a book to say that about, I’ll say it about one of my own.
Me: “You’ve never read The Brothers Karamazov? I just saw the most amazing analysis of what makes that one of the greatest novels ever written. Seriously, if you’ve never read it, you should read this article. You know what, give me back my card and write…(etc.)”
That’s basically the gimmick. I’ve given the pretty girl a face-saving way to allow me to initiate contact. The article itself doesn’t matter. There are articles about all of the great movies, all of the great novels. You can send her any link you want. The email will look like this:
“here’s the article. it was thermonuclear hanging out with you two crazy broads. i was smiling all the way to my friend’s place. write back if you have thoughts to share. –lee”
At this point, you’re expecting her to start playing along, even if she knows her friend likes you. You wrote to her and you asked her for her thoughts. She has every excuse to do what she wanted to do anyway.