Reply To: Pissed girl off with opener
I don’t completely agree with this–yes, you don’t want to become some phony character on account of women–no. That’s the problem with a lot of “PUA” lunatics. That’s weak and a sign of insecurity. It also messes a lot of people up.
But there ARE things that you can do to improve yourself and how you approach social environments–with one or a group of people. I never used to ask grilling or challenging questions…now I do. I learned that it was safe, more interesting, and–how ’bout it–reponse from people was a lot better. So it was something that I became aware of with the help of these forums. But it wasn’t phony, either. It was releasing a new part of me that I hadn’t realized it was safe to release before. But the advice of ‘Don’t change ANYTHING about yourself” isn’t exactly right. “Be Yourself” is both the best and worst advice out there–best because it’s ultimately a fundamental truth–but worst because it’s not something that lends itself to “advice”. Ultimately there are things that anyone can do to improve situations–just sitting there doing the exact same thing that hasnt’ worked in the past isn’t going to help.