Reply To: Pissed girl off with opener
Here is the thing about personal experiences. Unless you’re a trained statistician performing a fairly complex multivariate regression, personal experiences tell us very little about what is working and what is failing. There are just too many factors in play.
My experience is exactly the opposite of ryano’s. I used to teach natural game and even got ok results, but my game really took off when I started to think about power dynamics. I have taught students who experienced the same improvements. However, all of these personal stories are really not worth very much to someone reading my posts on a web site because it’s hard to determine what I did and whether it correctly represents the approach I think I’m taking.
That is why the only way to decide which style of game really works is to look at serious studies of social dynamics. Should you give a woman more eye contact or less? Should you compliment her more or less? Should you give her more certainty about your interest or less? These, and similar questions should be – and have been! – answered in controlled, peer reviewed studies, not in the streets of New York and London where pickup guys who know nothing about statistics pontificate about the right way to run game.
The amazing thing is that all of these different studies by different people in different institutions are in agreement: women prefer men who are a little skeptical, a little aloof, and – in addition to a preference for good looking women – demand qualities that are not so easy to find.
It makes sense that women should find these men more attractive. Like nothing else, their behavior signals that they have plenty of beautiful women in their lives and are no longer willing to commit much time to chasing pure beauty. It’s a very logical conclusion that the opposite is also true, that if there isn’t enough beauty in a man’s life – if he’s not sure that he can get it any time he wants – he will value it above all else. We see that with some of the guys on this site who are just starting out with game. They get really nervous around beautiful women because there aren’t enough beautiful women already in their lives.
Sociologists and psychologists love experiments that get at the core of social dynamics and evolutionary psychology. So why don’t we see results that contradict the above? Anyone in the field would love to obtain those results. Showing that the existing literature is dead wrong is the dream of every researcher. The reason they can’t prove those studies wrong is that they aren’t.
That’s why I base my game on those studies: there is absolutely no evidence that they are wrong.