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I would ditch the prom story. Most “I got so drunk” stories are lower value stories. The others just need a bit of polish.

The bling story is good because it transitions into something more personal and has a nice little dhv story about your gifted friend. It follows a general formula – open with something safe but something that gives you an immediate excuse to take it somewhere not safe. I consider all of these stories part of your opener. I might play with that story a bit, like this:

“I want to get something that is big enough to start a discussion. (Pause) Speaking of big enough to start a discussion, I just had the funniest conversation with my friend the other day. She was complaining about having to wear a bra all day. In her case, it’s pretty much a requirement because she is a gifted, gifted girl. But apparently she hates bras. So all morning she had me sit there while she tried out different outfits without her bra and paraded them past me to see if I liked them. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a very pretty girl, but after a morning of that, let me tell you that was waaaayyyy too much of a good thing. Guys aren’t made for that kind of endless fashion show. What about you? Bras always? Even in hot summer? What about panties? Even when it’s like 100 degrees out? Don’t you ever say fuck it who’s going to know? I would if I were a chick. Let my boys catch a summer breeze. What’s wrong with that?”

You probably don’t want something this long. You want to pause a few times and let them chime in, make it more interactive. But you get the picture, right?