Reply To: Stories challenge

[zhelyazko]

Hi Lee,

I am going to take you up on that offer, please!

Here are four of my stories. Can you please give an opinion on how they can be improved/ whether appropriate at all? What I have tried to do for some of them is identify in what situation I will use them. I pause at certain places in the story indicated here by a new row.

Situation: A girl is walking on the street
Situation: Two set during the day
Opener: Hey do you know how to get to…? How far away is it?
Follow up: Ha, I read this post about the differences between British and American people. For example, British people will never tip a bartender because he’s just doing his work, compared to Americans who always give a tip if they like you. And how British people measure distances in length, so miles. Americans measure distances in time. So you would answer 15 minutes if you were American. Congratulations you are typically British/ officially American.
Continuation: Where are you from?
(I’m foreign so the accent doesn’t hurt here)

Situation: Group of girls during the day in clothes shop
Situation: Group of girls chatting in a pub
Opener: Hi. I need a female perspective on something. A big ass necklace right here. I feel like I want some bling. What do you think?
Follow up (story): You know I like stuff that fits comfortably, I think that’s most important, right?
One of my female friends was telling me the other day how uncomfortable wearing a bra is and how she wished she didn’t have to wear one…
Well, don’t wear one, then! I’m sure nobody would mind, she’s quite “gifted”.
Continuation: Is it weird that I find women in lingerie sexier than naked women?
It’s very sensual, mysterious, like unwrapping a Christmas present.
What clothing do you feel sexiest in?
What kind of guys do you like most/ What part of a boy’s body is the sexiest to you?

Situation: Group of girls chatting in a pub
Opener: Hi. What do ya guys think- should guys shave?… my English girl friends keep telling me it’s wrong. I call bullshit. Oh no, I mean below the neck. Legs, chest…
Follow up (story): I bet you just say that cuz you are too lazy to shave, mmm growing a forest down there are we? I on the other hand shave and I feel quite manly about it thank you very much.
Continuation: Lots of guys make fun of women for how much time you spend on your haircut, but hair is actually pretty important. Have you seen V for Vendetta?
Natalie Portman was shaved bald in the movie and she looked like a little boy. Granted, a disturbingly sexy little boy, but still.
I like your hair. It’s very flowly (touch). Do you know those commercials about washing liquids where they carry a big 5 litre bottle in their purse… I can totally picture you in one of those…

Damn, you look so young. How old are you?
I’m 23 ha ha but I still remember my high school days quite clearly. Those were dark days for me.
Do you have a Prom thing when you graduate from high school in the UK?
I was a very shy chap back in high school. I remember I was feeling so nervous on my Prom night that I needed a drink.
One cheap vodka, two, three, four, five.
But I had never got drunk before. Ohh when my head started spinning, my teachers were like are you ok and all I could do is… so I’m sitting down and they come next to me… (close eyes, touch shoulder, nod).
I was so wasted they had to hook me up to a system and put glucose in me. Couldn’t eat anything for two days. But hey at least it was memorable.
What’s your most “memorable” drinking story?/ What were you like in high school?

Awaiting your wisdom, sir 🙂

Regards,
Zhelyazko