Reply To: Girls are Random
These are your examples of good game?
Before I comment, I’ll make this disclaimer. Videos are notoriously flawed as a tool for evaluating game. You have no idea if the girls in these videos wound up going on dates with the guys in these videos, whether these girls went on these dates because they were truly attracted to these guys or because they were just looking for validation, and what kind of frame the guys brought into those dates (which can affect the outcome of not only that date but any subsequent relationship as well).
All that having been said, let’s assume that these videos resulted in dates so I can comment on what I saw.
My first comment is that Eric and I wouldn’t actually go out with any of these girls. None of them showed the slightest bit of a unique, interesting personality, wit, intelligence, nothing. It’s a little pathetic that it was still enough for these guys. Actually, it probably wasn’t, but if you’re going to show a demo of a quick set, you’re not going to show one that has a complicated dynamic, so I understand why these guys didn’t push these girls to the edge, why they didn’t mess with them, and why they didn’t qualify them at all. They don’t actually care because they’re not actually trying to get them.
I wouldn’t even call this game. When a man who is attractive enough approaches a woman who is not as attractive as he is, has an ordinary, pleasant conversation with her, and asks for her number, he’s going to get it. Most of the time, he’s going to get it because it’s easier for her to give it out than to say no, but some of the time, he’s going to get it because, even based on the flimsiest of conversations, he is more valuable than she is. It’s hard for us to tell which one of these forces is at work here but in either case, it’s not game.
I live in New York. I’ve coached students who also had Janka as a coach. I’ve even talked to women who were approached by him. (Even in New York, there’s a limited number of really hot girls and his volume is pretty high.) Janka is a 9.5. (See this article: http://jezebel.com/335827/paul-janka-did-not-date-rape-me-last-night ) The girl he’s approaching in this video is an 8. Duh. Even so, I doubt this date actually happened. She’s giving him almost nothing. She’s answering his questions, but she’s not asking him any. She’s not at all excited or animated. A couple of times, she starts to turn away from his as if ready to go and he brings her back.
At the end of this approach, he knows nothing about her. Nothing. Is she an idiot? Is she funny? Is she good at anything? If she actually did wind up going out with him, it’s even worse than it seems. She went out with a guy who she knew had zero information about her. What can we conclude is important to this girl? How high is her value?
Even so, he does employ some elements of game. He offhandedly mentions he’s visiting buddies in Harvard law school and asks the girl about the weirdest tattoo she’s seen on a guy. He knows that this stuff works to make the conversation edgier and more interesting to her. He actually knows all about game, and not just his type of game. He’s just not using much of it in this approach. He knows he doesn’t have to. In person, he’s super honest. He tells you the truth about game, and I respect that.
Now let’s look at the second video. It’s full of game, just not very good game. He starts out by telling her he’s really shy, which he clearly is not. It’s a lie that he thinks will make him more endearing. Then, he starts powdering her ass. According to this guy, everything is super cool about her – the city she lives in, her clothes, her name. Does he really think Astrid is a super cool name? Is that what you mean about being natural? Talk about chasing! Where is the part where she tries really hard to convince him she’s good enough for him? Nada. Bad, bad power dynamic. And, again, at the end of that set, he walks away knowing almost nothing about her. Nothing. Is she funny? Is she close to her family. Does she love what she does? Does she have any interests she’s passionate about? Is she good at anything? He knows nothing.
Finally, we get to that last set, the tall, nordic hunk with a tan and ripped abs sarging that high school girl. You think that’s game, dude? That girl would be lucky to meet a guy like that, and she knows it. The second sentence out of her mouth is “Where are you from?”, a clear indication of interest. That conversation almost put me to sleep. Again, he leaves knowing nothing about her. Instead of really finding out something interesting about each other, they literally talk about the weather.
In fact, he does inadvertently use some game. He asks her how old she is and acts surprised when she says 17. You want to understand game? Watch her immediately try to qualify herself after he asks that question. He didn’t do it on purpose, and he certainly doesn’t need it with this girl, but imagine the power of a whole bunch of good qualifying questions and stories for a man who can’t slide by on looks alone.
Finally, listen to his big advice at the end of the video: stay fit, stay tan, get some ripped abs. Really?
Dude, I’m nearing 50 and, though I’m tall, skinny, and have a good sense of style, I look 50. I’m not particularly good looking, only a 7. The girls I sarge when I go out with students are literally half my age. Before that conversation is over, they are qualifying themselves to me and explaining to me why they are not like the typical girls their age. I don’t even take their numbers. I give them a card, and they initiate contact. You know what makes a 26 year old super hottie actress email a man more than twenty years her senior? It’s not a conversation about the weather.