Reply To: Disappointing Trends

[Slim]

Really appreciate the response, Lee. It makes sense, although I think it’s very helpful to live in a city where there are myriad gorgeous women every 10 feet. In my city, it isn’t nearly as easy to find attractive women – much less single ones. This doesn’t counteract your argument, but it does give me greater incentive to persevere a little more – with the intention to swing the power dynamic back in my direction once I’m on the date. (You make it seem like this is unlikely, but why? Couldn’t you simply pretend like the previous pursuit didn’t happen, and that you are again the catch? Easier said than done, I know…)

Also, about power dynamics… Can you elaborate on what it means for the guy to have a large power dynamic over the woman? In my mind, having a massive power dynamic (as my dad had over my mom) resulted in him always being right, getting whatever he wanted, being close minded, selfish, insensitive, and growing very little over the course of the relationship as far as I can tell (can you tell I resent him?). I certainly don’t want to be led around by the balls, but I also don’t want absolute control would significantly stifle my own growth (and I know I’ve still got a lot of growing to do). Any thoughts?