Reply To: Got my first number from direct approach
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Good job someguy. I’ve been doing this stuff for about 3 years but I gave it everything I have– about 3-4 hours of research/infield approaches every day for the past 3 years. now I don’t work as hard on it, so it does get easier. But I’ve been where you were, and back. let me just give you a few pointers.
1. expect to get fake numbers or non-responses from time to time. it doesn’t mean anything. the biggest mistake a guy can make it to let “flakes” shake your confidence. flakes happen all the time. even to this day I get flakey numbers. but because I get so many numbers I don’t even notice them. I never question if I did “something wrong” though. a girl can flake on you because of so many reasons beyond your control.
2. make it a habit to get atleast one number a day. This will require you to make about 5 approaches daily. it’s easier said than done though. it took me about 2 years to get to a point where 5 approaches (during the day) doesn’t phase me. it’s not easy. u need to strive to this level to see real success though. if you don’t live in a big city, you’re kinda screwed. so i’ll assume you live in a city where this is possible.
3. although it’s good to feel accomplished for getting a number it doesn’t mean anything. 1 number is very small odds for anything to work. As mentioned in #2, get to a point where you know how to generate numbers whenever you feel like it. If you can get 7 numbers in a week, that’s good. You’ll generally be certain you’ll see atleast a date or two from those.
4. Although it’s tempting, never see one girl — or one number as a potential for anything. trust me, she will let you down on a whim. she will flake, or stop messaging you, or just fade away from your life with no explanation randomly. girls work in mysterious ways. but one thing that works though, always have a few girls under your belt that you msg some will flake some won’t.
5. numbers are the currency. work on getting as many numbers as you can. I consider numbers to be kind of like a salary that you get from a job. if you can’t get any numbers then you will be poor. also if you get low numbers like say, one number a week, you’ll find yourself in a very bad position; you’ll experience oneitis, neediness, and alot of other issues. always make sure you have a pipeline of numbers. message multiple girls a day. don’t just rely on one girl to message you back. I cannot stress this enough. practice practice practice until you are able to do this.
note the above is not meant to say that one girl isn’t important, but it’s to stress that dating is a numbers game. I think you must date alot of girls (hundreds) to find the one that is really right for you. I’ve never done online dating or bar/club dating or social circle stuff. I only rely on daygame. but it has turned my life around completely.