Reply To: Hot to approach with legitimate reasons?
An interview, or business- is not the greatest analogy. Business is all about logic, your skillset, your resume, your past experiences, and so forth. It’s very cut and dry.
Girls are the opposite– I find the moment you start putting things in some kind of rigid format it kills the spontaneity and improvisation. If you’ve taken any improv classes they tell you to just clear your mind and that there are no rules and say whatever u want. Same with girls.. unlike an interview, they get joy from off the cuff things, silly humor. Messing with them, spinning their words to something they didn’t intend, doing and saying something unexpected, leading them, etc. I hate any kind of format or rigidity. To give you an example, every opener I’ve used is usually different, every conversation is different, every date is different.
I know you are good with this stuff, so I’m not trying to push my ideas on you. But back to the topic at hand, the OP initially asked what are some good “legimitate reasons” to start a conversation. and my point is you’re a man. that gives you enough reason to start a conversation ANY WAY YOU WANT TO with a girl standing next to you. so you don’t need any legitimate reason to talk to them. I usually get a number from 1 in 5 girls, cold approach daygame. I also find that roughly half of the girls I talk to have a bf, so whatever opener I use won’t work anyway that’s why I don’t even think too hard about the openers and don’t put so much emphasis or thought into any interaction. I’ll give you a few conversation starters I had this week roughly half of these generated numbers–
1. “hey, I had to double back and say hello. sorry for being forward, but I couldnt help it. you just had such a great body..” — street
2. “what’s that word on your shirt say?” — street
3. “is that backpack for travel or for school?” — said to chick sitting next to me for cafe
4. “are you going to work?” — said in subway platform to girl next to me
5. “hey, how’s it going? you work around here?” — girl sitting next to me during lunchtime.
6. “wait! before you get into that car, can I get your number?” — street, woman about to enter her car
7. “hey, where are you from? i see you’re looking at a map..” — girl had a map of city and was standing next to me.
8. “hey are you a good cook? I’m looking for a good cook I’m horrible at it. can u make me a sandwich sometime” — supermarket
10. “hey, how do you know when those tomatoes are ripe?” (girl: blablablalbla) me: “are you really gonna fall for that line? that’s like the oldest pickup line in the book” — supermarket
11. “hey, mind if I sit down with you for a minute?” – girl sitting at cafe close to my work. she said “sure”.
12. “hey, what are you reading?” – girl next to me in sbux.
13. “hey are you on facebook, what’s the status?” — girl standing next to me on her phone. “here, I’ll give you a status update.. random guy hitting on me”.
and on and on.. my openers is whatever I think up in the moment, can be direct/indirect/situational. whatever I come up with I just say. My only rule is: have no rules and just have fun messing with people. similarly, I talk to alot of people in general during the day, not just girls I’m interested.. so sometimes I’ll also start conversations with guys for the purpose of friendship or networking, here’s a few conversations I had this week:
1. “peanut butter, i like that too. but it’s fattening no?” — supermarket, buff guy that eventually gave me advice about nutrition, etc.
2. “hey I’m digging the shades..” – said to old dude next to me in the gym that was wearing sunglasses but was so old he didn’t even realize he was wearing them.
3. “what company is on that floor?” — random person next to me in the elevator.
4. “wow, I really like your shirt.. where’d you get that from?” — to random guy walking next to me in street
5. “can I get a cigarette? you guys from italy btw?” – had a conversation with them about italy vs america..
as far as girls, I don’t try to limit myself, if I get a bad reaction (which is not uncommon) I just move on and talk to another girl, they’re a dime a dozen in a big city anyway.
my point is, break all the rules. it’s fine that you’re a man that wants to talk to a woman. you can literally say anything. it doesn’t matter for shit. as long as you just get your jaw moving and get into any kind of interaction that’s good.