Reply To: two approach problems

[ryano]

Regarding your first problem: nobody cares about you. You think that there’s onlookers but there isn’t. People are so ignorant most of the time. I’ve approached girls in front of people and 99% of the time they don’t even look up from their phones or their conversations. As a beginner you might think that people are actually looking at you but no one is (wikipedia ‘the spotlight effect’). If there’s one thing true in western society is that people care most of the time only about themselves. On the flipside, for the 1% that does see you do the approach (and again this is rare) they’ll look at you like you’re their hero. They will never scoff or laugh at you.

Regarding your second problem as for sitting or standing. It doesn’t matter. You need to be secure with whatever you choose to do. Again, you think that people are judging you but it’s all in your mind. Even if people notice you coming up to her, they will assume you know her. There’s no problem however, with just sitting next to her right away. I personally don’t like to stand while someone else is sitting so I’ll just sit next to them (and no I won’t ask their permission beforehand I’ll just sit first). For example, she’s sitting in the park and you just casually walk up. Just sit beside her and say “how’s your day going? Mind if I join you for a minute?”. then you might want to deliver some kind of direct opener or something.